The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
"The same patients, disguised, visited him twice, but he would tell the
same story to them as before. His diagnosis was truly wonderful.
"'What is your mode of treatment, or what school do you represent?'
"'There hangs my "school,"' he would reply, pointing to a New York college
diploma. 'That, however, cures nobody. What cures one patient kills
another. My opathy is to cure my patient by _any means_, regardless of
"schools."'
"To some he gave 'nothing but water,' the patients affirmed; to others,
pills, powders, syrups, or prescriptions. Well, he came the next month, to
our surprise, and to the joy of most of his patients. He did the greatest
amount of advertising on the first visit, doing less and less puffing each
time. The rich, as well as the poor, visited him. He charged all one
dollar. Then, if they declined treatment, he was satisfied; but if they
doubted, or were sceptical, he refused all prescription. He advertised
quite as much by telling one man he was past all help, and would die in
eight weeks, which he did, as by curing the mayor of the city of a cough
that jeoparded his life. If a poor woman had no money, he treated her just
as cheerfully. Men he would not. His cures are said to have been
remarkable. He made some eleven visits, and his patrons increased at each
visit; but the novelty wore off before he disappeared. He was said to be
an excellent musician, an author and composer, a man who was well read (a
physician here who often conversed with him so informed the writer), could
translate Latin and French, and converse with the mutes. When the day
closed, he would see no more patients, but devoted his time to friends, to
writing, or to music. Often the hotel parlor would be thronged at evening
with the musical portion of the community. In personal appearance he was
nothing remarkable,--medium size, wore full beard, had a sharp black eye,
a quick, nervous movement, and his voice was not unpleasing to the ear.
"Why he--such a man--should travel, no one knew. He had an object,
doubtless, to accomplish, realized it, and retired upon his true name, and
from whence he came."
"YOURAN, THE SPANKER."
The writer has many times seen a fellow who travelled the country,
nicknamed "the Spanker." He was a tall, lean, lank-looking Yankee, with
red hair and whiskers, a light gray eye, and claimed to cure all diseases
by "spatting" the patient, or the diseased part thereof, with cold water
on his bare palm, the use of a battery, and a pill. He had served as
door-keeper to a famous doctor, who created a _furore_, a few years since,
by the exercise of his magnetic powers, making cripples to throw down
their crutches, and walk off; the deaf to hear, the blind to see; or, at
least, many of them _thought_ they did, for the time being, which answered
the doctor's immediate purpose. But one fine morning the magnetic doctor
found his door-keeper was among the "missing." He had learned the trade,
and set up on his own account.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account