The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
As Terry had not yet cast up his accounts, and the stomach-pump was at
hand, I determined to make a little more capital out of the case, and
thrusting the long, flexible India rubber tube down poor Terry's throat,
having separated his teeth by means of a stick, and holding his head
between my knees, I soon had the satisfaction of depositing the laudanum
and tartar emetic in a swill pail, the only article of the toilet the
place afforded.
After years proved Terry and Biddy most loving companions. He never, even
when drunk, more than threatened her "wid a batin', which she was
desarvin'," and she never forgave "that divil's baby, Mag," for her cruel
experiment on her heroic and devoted Terry.--_Practice of a New York
Surgeon._
A LIFE SCENE.
_The Situation._--I was young, but, with a wife and child dependent upon
my practice for food, raiment, and shelter, I was striving manfully; with
my household gods and goods I had located here, in a small village, a year
before. My beginning was encouraging, my success in practice more than
flattering. But an immense opposition had met and nearly overthrown me, in
the form of a man, a deacon of the ---- church. He was one of those "rule
or ruin" men whom you will find in every one-horse village. I did not at
first know my man,--he did not know me,--or I should have avoided his ill
will. I did not know his tenaciousness of titles--he was an esquire
also--which was my first unpardonable offence. He swore--"as deacons
do"--that I should not practise in that town. I swore, as doctors will,
that "so long as I could obtain a potato and a clam a day I would remain
while he was my opposer." Clams could be dug at low water, within a few
rods of my house; potatoes I grew on the quarter acre of ground given me
as partial inducement to settle in that town. His two drunken sons were
his emissaries of evil, set on for my overthrow, in addition to the
father's voice and known opposition, which few dared to meet. My practice
dwindled. A few Nicodemuses came by night, but my darling wife trembled
for my very life when I had a night call. My provision was often short, my
poor horse was mere skin and bones, standing, day after day, gnawing his
empty manger.
"O, is there a God in Israel?" I cried, in my anguish, more than once.
Yes, the reply came to my prayers; there is a God of recompense.
* * * * *
_The Betrayed._--My patient was a young girl, over whose golden head but
seventeen summers had flown, on rosy wings. Her form was sylph-like, and
face as beautiful as the opening flower in the golden sunshine of early
day. She was an attendant at _his_ church, a member of _his_ Sabbath
school class, and a singer in the choir....
[Illustration: THE BETRAYED.]
I was shown to her room. Sorrow, and not disease, had left its impress
upon her fair young face. Rumor had already given me a hint on which to
diagnose my case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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