The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
I knew a "bright and shining light" in the medical profession who turned
out a modern Silenus. This was Dr. G., of Plymouth, Conn. His father had
given him the best medical education which this country afforded. He was a
gentleman of superior address, as well as talent, tall, straight, and
handsome as an Apollo, with a dark, flashing eye, a massive brow, shaded
by a profusion of jet-black locks. How long he had practised medicine I do
not know. Throughout the county he had an excellent professional
reputation, particularly as a surgeon. His instruments were numerous, and
of the best and latest improvements. Alas that such a man should be lost
to the community, and to humanity! But his appetite for intoxicating drink
knew no bounds. His thirst was as insatiable as Tantalus'.
When I first knew him, he still was in practice, but the better portion of
the community had ceased to trust him. He never was sober for a day. He
occupied then a little office in the square, containing a front and a back
room. In the latter were his few medicines,--there was no apothecary in
town,--and a number of large glass jars, containing excellent anatomical
and foetal specimens. This room was not finished inside, and the walls
were full of nails, projecting through from the clapboards outside.
One day a Mr. Hotchkiss went after him, hoping to find the doctor
sufficiently sober to prescribe for a patient, in a case of emergency.
"What do you suppose I found him doing?" said Mr. Hotchkiss to me.
"Hiding from the snakes in his back room?" I suggested.
"No, sir; he had the tremens, and with his coat off, his hair standing
every way, his eyes glaring like a demon's, he had his case of forceps
strewn over the floor, and was diving at the ends of the clapboard nails,
which he called devils, that came through the boards, in the back office."
"Ah, there you are! Another devil staring at me!" he shouted; and with the
bright, gleaming forceps he dove at a nail, wrenched it from the wall, and
flinging it on the floor, he stamped on it, crying, "Another dead devil!
Come on. Ah, ha! there you are again!" and he dove at another. When he
broke a forceps he flung it on the floor, and caught a new pair. I tried
to stop him, but he only accused me of being leagued with his evil majesty
to destroy him.
[Illustration: A DOCTOR KILLING THE DEVILS.]
[Illustration: PAYING FOR HIS WINE.]
Another day, after having pawned nearly all his instruments for money
with which to buy liquor to appease his raving appetite, he was seen to
unseal one of the jars containing a foetal specimen, pour out a quantity
of the diluted alcohol in which it had long been preserved, and drink it
down with the avidity of a starving man.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account