The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
Pretty soon the beast struck into a gallop; and now he reached the lane
that led into Mrs. Wealthy's farm. The pony knew the lane as well as his
master, and the barn better. The said lane led by the barn-yard and
out-buildings, the house being beyond. The barn-yard bars were down, and
the pony made for the opening, in a clean gallop, over the fallen bars,
right in amongst the cattle, the sheep, and the swine. A big ox gave a
bellow at the sudden arrival, and, with tail and head in air, ran to the
opposite side of the yard, intruding upon the comfort of a big old sow,
that was dozing in the mud. With a loud snort, the discomfited porker
rushed from the mire just in time to meet the horse, and in attempting to
pass on both sides at once, she went between the short fore legs of the
pony, and brought up with a loud squeal, and a shock that sent the rider
over the horse's head, down astride the hog. The pony reared, wheeled, and
ran out of the yard at one pair of bars, and the sow went pell-mell out
of the other, bearing the doctor and saddle-bags swiftly along towards the
house.
The hired man witnessed the sudden change of steeds, and gave the alarm.
The widow--not so very sick--was just graciously showing her two unwelcome
lady callers out, after being worried nearly an hour by their company; and
taking an anxious look towards the lane, she saw the doctor coming on a
clean--no, dirty--gallop, on her old sow.
She lost no time in giving a loud scream. What else should she do?
"O, goodness gracious! What is that?"
"O Lord, save and defend us! What is it?" exclaimed the two ladies, in
chorus.
"A man on a hog!"
"The doctor on a sow!" again in chorus.
Now the pony and the swine met, the doctor still clinging to the sow's ear
with one hand, and to the tail with the other; of course, having turned a
clean summersault from the pony, facing towards the sow's hind quarters.
The swine, beset on all sides, sheered off, and made directly through a
large duck-pond in the field, scattering the geese and ducks every way,
which, crying out, "Quack, quack!" made off as fast as feet and wings
could carry them. Half way across the pond the doctor lost his balance,
and, with his saddle-bags, fell splashing into the water.
Another scream from the ladies,--only two of them.
The widow, like a sensible woman, when she saw the doctor's danger, ran
for the well-pole. "Here, John, here! Take this well-hook, and fish him
out quick, before he drowns."
John obeyed, and in an instant the doctor was safely landed.
The doctor was sobered.
The widow, seeing no further danger, like a true woman, fainted.
[Illustration: THE DOCTOR ON A SOW.]
[Illustration: RESCUE OF THE DOCTOR.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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