The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
"Hear me!" continued Mrs. Brown. "Before you start for Bangor to-morrow
morning, do you take a good drink of that thoroughwort syrup in the large
jar on the first shelf in the pantry. It'll keep out the cold; for
there'll be frost to-night, I think, and at five o'clock in the morning
the air will be sharp. O, there is nothing equal to _thoroughwort_ for
keeping out the cold."
"Anything to eat in that pantry?" asked George, with a wink tipped to me.
You see I was to sleep with him that night, preparatory to an early start
for Bangor.
"Yes, some cold meat, bread, and a pie. But don't forget to first take a
dose of the thoroughwort syrup. Addison, you bear it in mind, for George
is awful forgetful, especially about taking his thoroughwort." And Mrs.
Brown detained us fully fifteen minutes, as she rehearsed the remarkable
qualities of her favorite remedy,--"particularly for keeping out cold."
"Mother thinks that condemnable stuff is meat, drink, and clothing,"
remarked George, as we sought the pantry at an early hour on the following
morning, not for the thoroughwort, but for sandwiches, pies, and the like.
"Let me take a taste of the 'stuff,'" I said, as I noticed the jar so
conveniently at hand.
"O, no; not on an empty stomach. It will make you throw up Jonah if you
do," exclaimed George, with an expression of disgust distorting his
features. "Eat something first, and then, if you want to taste the
condemned 'stuff,' do so, and the Lord be with you," he added, pitching
into the eatables.
Having made away with the pie, and much of the sandwiches, we turned our
attention for a moment to the thoroughwort syrup. I took a taste, and
George spilled a quantity on the shelf, "that mother may know we have been
to the jar," he remarked, as we left the pantry.
It was not yet five o'clock when we drove noiselessly away from the door.
If I remember rightly, we were not _noiseless_ after that. The morning was
delightful, slightly cool,--but that was no impediment to our warm blood,
owing to the thoroughwort,--and we sped on in an exuberant flow of
spirits. "Simon" was in excellent travelling order, and went without whip
or spur. We should have reached the village of B., where we were to
breakfast, and bait Simon, by eight o'clock, but George would insist on
making the acquaintance, _nolens volens_, of half the farmers on the road,
ostensibly to inquire the way to B.
"Hallo!" he shouted, reining up Simon before a small farm-house. Up flew a
window, and out popped a nightcapped head.
"What d'ye want?" called a feminine voice. It was now hardly daylight, and
the person could not distinguish us.
"Excuse me, madam, for disturbing your slumbers; but can you inform a
stranger if this is the right road to B.?" asked George, in his most
pleasing manner.
"O, yes; keep right on; take the first left hand road to the top o' the
hill; then go on till yer--"
We drove away, not waiting for the rest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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