The habit of self-deception had become as a cloak in which Clodagh
wrapped herself. She desired happiness: therefore she told herself that
she was happy; she instinctively wished to live honourably: therefore,
through her own persuasion, she believed her actions to be honourable.
And under this insidiously sheltering garment, her appropriation of her
sister's money was securely hidden away. To her own thinking--once the
first misgiving had been buried--there was no real wrong, no real
dishonour, in the taking of the thousand pounds. She needed it
temporarily, and would, in due time, repay it with interest. The fact
that she did not think it necessary to inform Nance of what she had
done, certainly weakens the case for her defence; but had she come to
be judged from some impersonal source, it is quite possible she would
have made as subtle and specious a justification of her conduct as that
which she offered to herself. In this light, the act stood recorded in
her own conscience. She needed the money; she took the money; and
having taken it, she set about banishing the recollection of it from
her mind.
For three days after she had signed the cheque, she retired into
semi-privacy. She was at home to no one; and although she continued to
ride each morning and drive each afternoon in the park, she did so with
so cold a demeanour that none of her friends had dared to accost her!
For three nights she stayed indoors alone; but on the fourth, the
insurmountable restlessness that settles so frequently upon the
high-spirited woman devoid of home ties, seized on her remorselessly.
The thought of further solitude became unendurable--the idea of another
lonely evening something not to be borne. At eight o'clock she rose
from her solitary dinner, tingling in every nerve for some
companionship; and telephoning to Curzon Street, ascertained that Lady
Frances Hope was at home and willing to see her. And a quarter of an
hour later she stepped from her brougham at the door of the familiar
house.
She was informed that Lady Frances was in her own room, preparing to go
out, but would be glad to see her if she would come upstairs. She
acquiesced quickly; and before the servant could conduct her down the
hall, had brushed past him and begun to run up the stairs.
Opening the door of her friend's bedroom, she paused on the threshold,
and gave a little exclamation of admiration. Lady Frances Hope was
standing before a long mirror, while the maid Rees knelt upon the
ground beside her, giving the finishing touches to the skirt of a
strikingly beautiful dress.
Clodagh clasped her hands in a gesture of delight; then ran forward
into the room.
"How splendid you look!" she cried. "Where are you going? What a
heavenly dress!"
Lady Frances smiled.
"At last!" she exclaimed, holding out her cheek to be kissed. "What
have you been doing with yourself? I have been persecuted with
inquiries for you."
Clodagh laughed excitedly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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