And on this armour, the weapons of Milbanke's love had been turned
aside. There had been no scenes, no harassing disillusionment; but
gradually, inevitably his original attitude with regard to her--his shy
reticence, his uncertainty, as in the presence of some incomprehensible
quality--had returned. He had slowly but surely withdrawn into himself,
turning with a pathetic eagerness to the interests that had previously
usurped his thoughts. With the nervous sensitiveness that warred
continuously with his matter-of-fact precision, he became uncomfortably
conscious of occupying a false position, of having made an
indisputable--almost a ridiculous--mistake; and he had taken a blind
leap towards the quarter in which he believed compensation to lie.
While Clodagh, vaguely divining this--vaguely remorseful, of what she
scarcely knew--had held her own enthusiasms more rigidly in check,
schooling herself into acquiescence with every impersonal suggestion
that he chose to make.
From this had arisen the pursuit of the antique in whatever corner of
Europe--and at whatever season of the year--circumstances might decree.
To Clodagh, the pilgrimages had seemed unutterably wearisome and
unutterably foolish; but there is a great capacity for silent endurance
in the Irish nature. Quick-blooded though it may be, it possesses that
strong fatalistic instinct that accepts without question the decree of
the gods. The spirit of revolt is not lacking in it; but it requires a
given atmosphere--a given sequence of events--to bring it into
activity. At two-and-twenty Clodagh was weary of her husband, of
herself, of her life. But precisely as her father had fretted out his
existence in the quiet monotony of Orristown, she had accepted her fate
without thought of question.
In the second year, when they had travelled to England with Nance,
Milbanke had suggested a visit to Ireland, but this proposal she had
declined. The days when every fibre of her being had yearned for her
own country were passed; and the idea of return had lost its savour.
As she sat now, sipping her coffee and gazing abstractedly down to
where the hot sun glinted on the Arno, it seemed to her that her
life--the glorious, exuberant state that she had been accustomed to
call her life--had drifted incredibly far away; that it lay asleep, if
not already dead, in some intangible realm widely beyond her reach. She
thought of Nance away at her English school, and unconsciously she
envied her. To be fifteen, and to be surrounded by young people!
Involuntarily she sighed; and Mick, ever acutely sensitive to her
change of mood, turned and pressed his cold nose against her knee.
Mechanically she put down her hand and pulled one of his soft ears;
then suddenly she raised her head, attracted by an exclamation of
impatience in Milbanke's usually placid voice. Looking up, she saw that
he had opened a second letter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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