Africa, North -- Fiction; British -- Africa, North -- Fiction; Love stories; Married women -- Fiction
“You are right, Madame. I am here to try to do God’s work, and sometimes
it is better to act for a human being, perhaps, even than to pray for
him. I will tell you that I feel an almost invincible repugnance to
Monsieur Androvsky, a repugnance that is almost stronger than my will
to hold it in check.” He shivered slightly. “But, with God’s help, I’ll
conquer that. If he stays on here I’ll try to be his friend. I’ll do all
I can. If he is unhappy, far away from good, perhaps--I say it humbly,
Madame, I assure you--I might help him. But”--and here his face and
manner changed, became firmer, more dominating--“you are not a priest,
and--”
“No, only a woman,” she said, interrupting him.
Something in her voice arrested him. There was a long silence in which
they paced slowly up and down on the sand between the palm trees. The
twilight was dying into night. Already the tomtoms were throbbing in the
street of the dancers, and the shriek of the distant pipes was faintly
heard. At last the priest spoke again.
“Madame,” he said, “when you came to me this afternoon there was
something that you could not tell me.”
“Yes.”
“Had it anything to do with Monsieur Androvsky?”
“I meant to ask you to advise me about myself.”
“My advice to you was and is--be strong but not too foolhardy.”
“Believe me I will try not to be foolhardy. But you said something else
too, something about women. Don’t you remember?”
She stopped, took his hands impulsively and pressed them.
“Father, I’ve scarcely ever been of any use all my life. I’ve scarcely
ever tried to be. Nothing within me said, ‘You could be,’ and if it had
I was so dulled by routine and sorrow that I don’t think I should
have heard it. But here it is different. I am not dulled. I can hear.
And--suppose I can be of use for the first time! You wouldn’t say to me,
‘Don’t try!’ You couldn’t say that?”
He stood holding her hands and looking into her face for a moment. Then
he said, half-humorously, half-sadly:
“My child, perhaps you know your own strength best. Perhaps your safest
spiritual director is your own heart. Who knows? But whether it be so or
not you will not take advice from me.”
She knew that was true now and, for a moment, felt almost ashamed.
“Forgive me,” she said. “But--it is strange, and may seem to you
ridiculous or even wrong--ever since I have been here I have felt as if
everything that happened had been arranged beforehand, as if it had to
happen. And I feel that, too, about the future.”
“Count Anteoni’s fatalism!” the priest said with a touch of impatient
irritation. “I know. It is the guiding spirit of this land. And you too
are going to be led by it. Take care! You have come to a land of fire,
and I think you are made of fire.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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