She rested her hand on mine. It was cool, and long, and delicate. I was
startled at the thrill it gave me. “Dante,” she whispered, “have you
ever wanted anything so badly that your whole body ached to get it? When
you were very thirsty, say, and you heard a stream, singing ‘Find me.
Find me’ out of sight in the hills among the heather? Then you climbed
up and up, and the sun beat down, and your throat was dry, and the
stream sang louder, and at last you found it. I’m like that. I don’t
mind what the bank is like. I lie down full-length and let the water
sing against my mouth. I’ve been thirsty for something, Dante, all my
life. Yes, I’ve counted the price. If you don’t mind having me, Dannie,
I’ll stay with you for the present.”
She rubbed her cheek against my shoulder ever so slightly. I bent
towards her. When you’ve wounded a woman, there’s only one way of making
recompense. She saw my intent. She drew back laughing, dragging my hand
with her. The quick red blood mounted to her forehead. The gold in her
green eyes sparkled with gladness. “Not now,” she cried. Then recovering
herself, “But you’re a dear to want me like that.”
That morning we visited the Corpus Domini where Lucrezia Borgia lies
buried. We were admitted to a little chapel where all was lonely and
silent. Presently a door opened and two nuns dressed in black entered.
Their faces were covered from sight by long black veils. All that was
human we were permitted to see of them was their eyes, which looked
out from two black holes like stars in a dreary night. They had been
beautiful perhaps, but because Christ was crucified they had crucified
themselves. And these women, who had never tasted life, whose flesh
had never throbbed with the sweet torture which was their right, whose
bodies were the unremembered sepulchres of little children whose lips
had never pressed the breast--these women were the guardians of her who
had been the Magdalene of the Renaissance, whose feet had climbed
the Calvary of passion, but not the Calvary of sacrifice. Sunlight,
amber-colored as Lucrezia’s hair, slipped across the slab which marked
her grave. Down there in the unbroken dusk, did her tresses mock decay?
From a hidden cloister the chanting of children’s voices broke the
quiet. Its very suddenness took me by the throat. It was the future
calling out of the sad and moldering content of stupidly misspent
lives. Fiesole edged her hand into mine. I smiled into her eyes; then I
looked at the nuns again. Who would remember them when three centuries
had gone by? Lucrezia, if she had been wanton, had at least given joy;
so the world forgave her now that she was buried. We tiptoed out into
the tawny street, where water tinkled down the gutters. We had found a
new sanction for desire.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account