It was nearing five when we steamed into the Gare du Nord. My first
journey to Paris had been prompted by Fiesole. Then I was escaping from
her; now I was going to her. For old time’s sake I made my headquarters
at the hotel at which I had then stayed in the Rue St. Honoré. After
_diner_ I set out through thronged streets to book a seat at the
theatre. Upon making my request at the office, the man shrugged his
shoulders and turned away with the inimitable insolence of French
manners. It was as though he had said, “You must be mad, or extremely
bourgeois.” I had affronted him personally, the theatre-management, La
Fiesole and last, but not least, the infallible intelligence of Paris.
Did Monsieur not know that La Fiesole was the rage, the fashion? Every
seat was taken--taken weeks ahead.
My second request was apologetic and explanatory: I honored La Fiesole
so much that I had journeyed from London on purpose to see her. What was
the earliest date at which he could make it possible? He directed me to
an agency which had bought up all the best seats in the house; here I
secured a box at an extortionate price for five nights later.
In the intervening days I was frequently tempted to abandon my project
and return. It seemed the height of foolishness to squander five days
in order that I might court disappointment. She must have altered--might
have deteriorated. It was just possible there was a grain of truth
in the wild stories that circulated about her. And yet---- There were
memories that came to me full of nobility and gentleness: windswept days
at Oxford; a night at Ferrara; days and nights on the lapping lagoons of
Venice. I wanted to see her again--and I did not. I blew hot and cold.
And while I hesitated, spring raced through the streets of Paris with
tossing arms and reckless laughter.
When I entered the theatre it was already packed. The audience seemed
conscious that it had assembled for a great occasion; it had dressed for
its share in the undertaking. Gowns of marvelous cut and audacity
were in evidence. The atmosphere was heavy with the perfume of exotic
femininity and flowers.
My box was on the right-hand side, just above and next to the stage.
Below me was a nodding sea of plumed head-dresses, naked shoulders, and
gleaming bosoms; rising tier on tier to the gold-domed roof, was a
wall of eyes and fluttering white faces. Everything was provocative of
expectancy. Gods and goddesses, carved on the columns and painted on the
curtain, alone were immobile.
A quick succession of taps sounded, followed by three long raps. The
theatre was plunged in shadow. As though a crowd drew away into the
distance, the last murmur spent itself. The curtain quivered, then rose
reluctantly on the illusion which had brought the unrelated lives of so
vast an audience together.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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