Now I saw nothing of the hurrying landscape; I watched her. I wrote all
her beauty on the tablets of my mind--nothing should be unremembered:
the way her curls crept from under her cap and fluttered about her
temples; the clear pallor of her forehead; the firm, broad brows; the
quiet challenge of her deep-lashed eyes; how her red mouth pouted and
her head leant forward from her frail white neck, like a flower from
its stalk, in a kind of listening expectancy. And I observed the tender
swelling of her breasts, high and proud, yet humble for maternity; and
the pliant strength of her supple body; and her long clean limbs; and
the delicately modeled feet and ankles, which shot out from beneath
her fur-trimmed skirt--the feet of a dancer, graceful and fragile as
violins.
I was mad. I wanted her. No matter how she came to me, I wanted her. I
could not bear the thought that we should ever be separated. She was
so intensely mine at this present; and yet, though she was mine, I was
insanely jealous to preserve her.
With the long fascination of watching her I bent slowly forward. The
action was instinctive, uncalculated. How long I took in approaching
her, I cannot tell. I was anxious to last out the joy of anticipation; I
was not conscious of motion. My lips touched hers. Her hold on the wheel
relaxed. Her eyes met mine. The car swerved, hung upon the edge of the
road, ran along it balancing; then bounded back into the straight white
line.
I was so frenzied that I did not care. She had thought to hold me
prisoner by her speed; I would overcome her with defiance. I kissed her
again, holding her to me. She kept her eyes on the distance now, but her
mouth smiled tenderly.
“That was foolish,” she said.
I raised my voice to reach her above the moaning of the engine. “The
whole thing’s foolish.”
She broke into wild laughter. “That’s why I like it, like you, like
myself.”
We hovered on the brim of a valley; then commenced to sink as though the
earth had given way beneath us. Far below, as far as eye could reach,
were orchards smoking with white blossom. Through the heart of the
valley a river ran; standing on its puny banks was a gray old town,
blinking in the wind and sun like a spectacled grandmother who had
nodded to sleep, and wakened bewildered to find spring rioting round
her.
“Where is it?”
“Lisieux, unless I’m mistaken.”
“Then you know where we’re going?”
“More or less.”
We pulled up in a drowsy, sun-drenched market-place outside a sleepy
café. At tables on the pavement, with hands in their blouses and legs
sprawled out, sat a few artisans, eyeing their absinthe. Houses tottered
and sagged from extreme old age. Across the way a cathedral, scarred
by time and chapped by weather, raised its crumbling sculptured towers
against the clouds.
She took my hand as she stepped out. “You nearly did for us just now.”
“Who cares?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “All Paris cares. I’m not anxious to be
dead; when I am, I’d like to look pretty.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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