She grew in womanhood, and she grew in the charm of distinction and of a
fine equality. Yet the mystery surrounding her was to Laurence in no
wise lessened. For he began to perceive that, if he held back somewhat
from her knowledge concerning himself, she, notwithstanding her
transparent sincerity and the perfection of her love, held back somewhat
from him. She played with him, she eluded him; and he perceived that her
lovely soul--did he dwell with her for a thousand years--would still
have its surprises for him, and its secret places, adorably difficult of
access. Then, too, for all her increasing humanity, the way of her
coming at sundown, and going at sunrise remained unexplained as ever.
One morning in late June, standing in the bay-window, with the fragrance
of the blossoming garden and the songs of awakening birds saluting them,
he questioned her on this matter. Her hand rested in his--no longer
perceptible as a mere pulsation, such as might be caused by the
fluttering wings of a captive butterfly. It had substance now, actual,
though very delicate, weight. And feeling this, amazement and ecstasy
invaded Laurence. His eyes were alight and his blood hot.
"You are going?" he asked. "But why should you go? Stay and see the day
in its beauty."
But she smiled on him, a serious and enigmatic smile, though very full
of tenderness.
"The day does not belong to me yet," she answered. "I cannot take that
which is not mine."
"Everything is ours if we dare take it," Laurence said. "Possession is
in the act, not in the fact. You create law by believing in and
submitting to it. Cease to believe, cease to submit, the prohibition,
the obligation, vanishes into fine air. The day is yours, dear love, and
all the vigorous life and joy of it, if you will but venture. Have just
a little courage. Try--"
But she shook her pretty head, still smiling, though, as it seemed to
Laurence, rather mournfully.
"Then tell me where you go," he said. "Tell me where you pass all the
hours when you are not here? See, I have been very patient, I have
asked you no questions. And yet, loving you as I do, I have a right to
hear."
"Ah!" she answered playfully, though with a touch of sadness--"what an
importunate being you have suddenly become! Yet why?--Half your life is
hidden from me, dear Laurence, and I do not ask to have it otherwise.
Why, then, should not half of mine be hidden from you? Indeed, it is
always so between man and woman, I think, whether they know it--as we
do--or know it not."
But Laurence was not in the humour to have his inquiry put aside thus
lightly.
"Still tell me--tell me," he insisted. "Look here, really I am not
unreasonable." He laughed a little, looking at her very charmingly in
mingled eagerness and command,--"For your exits and entrances are not as
those of other women, Agnes, so tell me. Or let me go with you
wheresoever you go. Or just--it is very simple--don't go--stay right
here, and brave the glory of the sunrise. Stay!--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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