"No, no," she protested, "do not speak, for I am woman enough to be
resolved to have the last word. Put away delusion and all
extravagance.--Think, after all, what do you leave? Not much, believe
me. For I am but a ghost. I have no right to any earthly dwelling-place,
no right to lie in the arms of living man. It would be monstrous, a
thing abhorrent to nature, an insult to the awful and unbroken order of
cause and effect that has operated from the beginning of being and of
time, that I should force the barrier completely, and project myself, at
once unburied and unborn, for a second time into the arena of earthly
life. It would be an act of rebellion, of self-seeking, beside which
that of Lucifer grows pale--for he at least was an archangel, which
might give reasonable cause of pride--whereas I?--No, God in His
infinite mercy has granted me fulness of understanding just in time; and
I have no fear but that, since I voluntarily resign myself, curb my
imperious will and forego the desire of my heart, He will further grant
me access to that place of refreshment, light, and peace, in which souls
wait until their final beatitude. In God's hands are all things, and I
now see that behind the loves of earth, just in proportion as those
loves are noble and have in them a seed of permanence, stands for ever
the love of God Himself, sure and faithful, full of a satisfaction that
can never lessen or pass away. I have been blind and very wilful, loving
Him too little, loving you too much. But He who made all men and sees
how beautiful they are, so that in loving them--they being made in His
image--we unconsciously all the while but love His image evident in
them--He will surely understand me and forgive."
There Laurence broke in madly--"Ah, stop talking, stop talking! What are
words at such a time as this? You are mine by right of conquest, as I
have already told you. For God and the eternities I care not, just now,
one little bit. You belong to me. I have bought you at a great price. I
love you and will enter into possession of my own."
And he essayed to lay hold of her, his blood on fire, for the moment,
with frustrated pride, the agony of relinquishment, and passion baulked.
"And I love you too," she answered fearlessly, "so greatly, so
absorbingly, that I have broken all bonds of time and space, and defied
all laws of life and death, to find you, and behold you, and speak with
you again--"
Yet even as she made this declaration, she slipped away from his urgent
embrace, even as a rosy snow-wreath slips from the cliff edge, when the
sun climbs high in heaven, drawing back to itself, by the power of its
strength and heat, snow and vapours, dews and fair, dissolving mists,
such as cling at dawn along the water-courses and haunt the quiet
underspaces of the woods. There were tears in her sweet eyes, and that
airy frame of hers was shaken by sobs; yet her face very brave and of a
marvellous brightness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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