Laurence stood erect and very still, his head held high, his face keen,
his lips parted in silent laughter, his whole being vibrant with the
surprise of a great conviction, a great discovery. For at length he too
saw and understood. He perceived that his love far from being lost was
his, close and intimately, as she had never been before, in either this
life, or that other half-remembered life, in both of which he had loved
her so well. He perceived that his amazing and desperate experiment, far
from being a failure, was on a high-road to a success hitherto undreamed
of. He perceived that his splendid adventure, far from being ended, had
but just begun; and that, could he but keep faith with his present
seeing, it would not end until he too had pushed back the heavy curtain,
and finally crossed the threshold of so-called death. Nor would it end
even then, were light lived in the light of this his present seeing. The
future was illimitable, since the goal of it was nothing less than union
with the Divine Principle itself. However innumerable the company of
human lives that had gone to produce his own, his individuality was
secure henceforth, since he had recognised and embraced the life which
alone eternally exists and subsists--the life in, and of, God.
Five months ago, crossing the Atlantic, in the chill of the March night,
while the big ship steamed eastward and the stars danced in the rigging
as she sunk and swung in the trough and then rose--as a horse at a
fence--at the coming wave, he had asked himself the question as to the
profit of gaining the whole world, if in so doing a man should lose his
own soul. All his experience since then had been a setting of that vital
question at rest for ever. For he had found his soul. The matter was
simply to the point of laughter, when once apprehended. In bidding him
farewell, his sweet companion had promised him that she and he would at
last be made one, being one with Almighty God. He had heard that as he
might mere rhetoric, idle though pretty words, placing it in some
unimaginable future, his mind still in bondage to human conception of
time and space. Now he beheld this consummation as already accomplished,
immediately present, constant, here, now, permanent. All that it needed
was just an attitude and habit of mind, and then work. Work, not so much
for any great benefit derivable by others from that work (though the
desire of the welfare of others must be a fundamental element in that
work); but for the maintenance of the said all-important attitude and
habit of mind in himself. Almost any work would do. There was his
property; and, happily, sufficient of the feudal idea still remains in
England to make the possession of a great landed-estate fruitful in
humane relations between class and class. There was the dear earth, too,
to till and sow, and render more fertile, and more useful to man. There
were politics and public affairs. In the light of his present
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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