The Gem CollectorWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Gem Collector
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Jewel thieves -- Fiction
"A fair cop, sir. Caught him in the very blooming act, sir. Dark it
was. Oo, pitch. Fair pitch. Like this, sir. Room opposite where the
jewels was. One of the gents' bedrooms. Me hiding in there. Door on
the jar. Waited a goodish bit. Footsteps. Hullo, they've stopped!
Opened door a trifle and looked out. Couldn't see much. Just made out
man's figure. Door of dressing room was open. Showed up against
opening. Just see him. Caught you at it, my beauty, have I? says I to
myself. Out I jumped. Got hold of him. Being a bit to the good in
strength, and knowing something about the game, downed him after a
while and got the darbies on him. Took him off and locked him in the
cellar. That's how it _was_, sir."
"Good boy," said Mr. McEachern approvingly. "You're no rube."
"No, sir."
"Put one of these cigars into your face."
"Thank you, sir. Very enjoyable thing, a cigar, sir. 'Specially a good
un. I have a light, I thank you, sir."
"Well, and who was he?"
"Not the man you told me to watch, for. 'Nother chap altogether."
"That red-headed----"
"No, sir. Dark-haired chap. Seen him hanging about, suspicious, for a
long time. Had my eye on him."
Mr. Galer chuckled reminiscently.
"Rummest card, sir, _I_ ever lagged in my natural," he said.
"How's that? inquired Mr. McEachern amiably.
"Why," grinned Mr. Galer, "you'll hardly believe it, sir, but he had
the impudence, the gall, if I may use the word, the sauce to tell me
he was in my own line of business. A detective, sir! Said he was going
into the room to keep guard. I said to him at the time, I said, it's
too thin, cocky. That's to say----"
Mr. McEachern started.
"A detective!"
"A detective, sir," said Mr. Galer, with a chuckle. "I said to him at
the time----"
"The valet!" cried Mr. McEachern.
"That's it, sir. Sir Thomas Blunt's valet, he was. That's how he got
into the house, sir."
Mr. McEachern grunted despairingly.
"The man was right. He is a detective. Sir Thomas brought him down
from London. He niver travels without him. Ye've done it. Ye've
arristed wan of the bhoys."
Mr. Galer's jaw dropped slightly.
"He was? He really was----"
"Ye'd better go straight to where it was ye locked him up, and let him
loose. And I'd suggest ye hand him an apology. G'wan, mister. Lively
as you can step."
"I never thought----"
"That's the trouble with you fly cops," said his employer caustically.
"Ye niver do think."
"It never occurred to me----"
"G'wan!" said the master of the house. "Up an alley!"
Mr. Galer departed.
"And I asked them," said Mr. McEachern, "I asked them particularly not
to send me a rube!"
He lit another cigar, and began to brood over the folly of mankind.
He was in a very pessimistic frame of mind when Jimmy curveted into
the room, with his head in the clouds and his feet on air.
"Can you spare me a few minutes, Mr. McEachern?" said Jimmy.
The policeman stared heavily.
"I can," he said slowly. "What is ut?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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