The Gentle Art of Cooking WivesWorthington, Elizabeth Strong
General
The Gentle Art of Cooking Wives
Worthington, Elizabeth Strong
Marriage
Accordingly, after dinner Steve and Nannie walked over to the village,
and after diligent search found the justice, who informed them that he
"did hev a place fer ther trial, but they tuk it from him fer a show
an' he was a-huntin' fer another."
This other being finally discovered, the criminals--Steve, Nannie and
Brownie--were brought in, and William Anderson, being duly sworn, was
perched up in an aged arm-chair and encouraged to unfold his tale of
woe to a crowded house, for the room was full, and even the doors and
windows were blocked by the heads of on-lookers.
"It was about eight o'clock in the morning," William began in a high,
cracked voice--possibly his neck was still dislocated. "My mother and
myself were on our way to meet some friends whom we expected on the
next train. Landing at the pier, we proceeded up toward the cottage
now fraudulently occupied by these people." (Here he pointed
impressively at the wicked ones, whereupon Brownie, who resented
this, barked fiercely and was promptly smothered by the Court.)
"Rounding a corner we encountered this man" (another indication with
that powerful index finger), "who immediately fell upon me with great
fe-roc-i-ty. First he struck me mightily here--then he gave me a
terrific blow here--then one of unparalleled strength here."
By this time Steve was bridling up and looking like a conquering hero.
He really had hit the man! It was the first time he or any one else
had known it.
"He then struck me----" William continued, but the Court interrupted
him.
"Here, here. You've already had enough to kill ten men."
"That's what I was about to say, your honor, and I will not harrow
your honor's feelings by telling more of his awful assault. Seeing
that I was suffering in this manner, my mother approached with an oar,
when she--her" (indicating Nannie by pointing fixedly and by a stony
glare) "rushed upon her fiercely and caused her dog also to charge
upon her, which he did so savagely as to decompose her raiment. In
some way the oar flew out of her hand, and she was most
disrespectfully whirled around and around, so that she is yet
dizzy-headed."
Here madam put her hand to her brow in confirmation.
"I was then taken by the scruff of the neck down to the pier, and
whether I fell in the lake or not I cannot say, but I was wet!"
Here the on-lookers shouted with laughter.
"My mother was then disrespectfully helped in and we were sent
adrift."
He ended in a high-toned, pitiful whine suggestive of a dog's song on
a moonlight night, but this plaint was drowned in the roars of
laughter raised by the audience.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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