“Analyze it as your revered Thomas does and you shall reach the same
conclusion. Let a girl reject you and--” Meredith broke off, cursing
himself inwardly, and, rising, cried gaily: “What profiteth it a man
if he gain the whole wisdom in regard to women and loseth not his own
heart? And neither of us is lacking a heart--though it may be; one can't
tell, one's self; one has to find out about that from some girl. At
least, I'm rather sure of mine; it's difficult to give a tobacco-heart
away; it's drugged on the market. I'm going to bring out the dogs; I'm
spending the summer at home just to give them daily exercise.”
This explanation of his continued presence in Rouen struck John as
quite as plausible as Meredith's more seriously alleged reasons for not
joining his mother and sister, at Winter Harbor. (He possessed a mother,
and, as he explained, he had also sisters to satiety, in point of
numbers.) Harkless knew that Tom had stayed to look after him; and he
thought there never was so poor a peg as himself whereon to hang
the warm mantle of such a friendship. He knew that other mantles of
affection and kindliness hung on that self-same peg, for he had been
moved by the letters and visits from Carlow people, and he had heard
the story of their descent upon the hospital, and of the march on the
Cross-Roads. Many a good fellow, too, had come to see him during his
better days--from Judge Briscoe, openly tender and solicitous, to the
embarrassed William Todd, who fiddled at his hat and explained that,
being as he was in town on business (a palpable fiction) he thought he'd
look in to see if “they was any word would wish to be sent down to our
city.” The good will the sick man had from every one touched him, and
made him feel unworthy, and he could see nothing he had done to deserve
it. Mr. Meredith could (and would not--openly, at least) have explained
to him that it made not a great deal of difference what he did; it was
what people thought he was.
His host helped him upstairs after dinner, and showed him the room
prepared for his occupancy. Harkless sank, sighing with weakness, into a
deep chair, and Meredith went to a window-seat and stretched himself out
for a smoke and chat.
“Doesn't it beat your time,” he said, cheerily, “to think of what's
become of all the old boys? They turn up so differently from what we
expected, when they turn up at all. We sized them up all right so far
as character goes, I fancy, but we couldn't size up the chances of
life. Take poor old Pickle Haines: who'd have dreamed Pickle would shoot
himself over a bankruptcy? I dare say that wasn't all of it--might have
been cherchez la femme, don't you think? What do you make of Pickle's
case, John?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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