I also did well in mythology, and took a real delight in the mob of gods and goddesses who, so jolly and naked, governed the world. I do not believe that there was a schoolboy in ancient Rome who knew the principal points of his catechism--that is, the loves of Venus--better than I. To tell the plain truth, it seems to me that if we must learn all the heathen gods by heart, we might as well have kept them from the first; and we have not, perhaps, gained so much with our New-Roman Trinity or still less with our Jewish unity. Perhaps the old mythology was not in reality so immoral as we imagine, and it was, for example, a very decent idea of Homer to give to much-loved Venus a husband. But I succeeded best in the French class of the Abbé d'Aulnoi, a French _émigré_, who had written a number of grammars, and wore a red wig, and jumped about very nervously when he lectured on his _Art poétique_ and his _Histoire Allemande_. He was the only one in the whole gymnasium who taught German history. Still, French has its difficulties, and to learn it there must be much quartering of troops, much drumming, much _apprendre par coeur_, and, above all, no one must be a _bête allemande_. There was here, too, many a hard nut to crack; and I can remember as plainly as though it happened but yesterday that I once got into a bad scrape through _la religion_. I was asked at least six times in succession, "Henry, what is French for 'the faith?'" And six times, with an ever increasing inclination to weep, I replied, "It is called _le crédit_." And after the seventh question the furious examinator, purple in the face, cried, "It is called _la religion_"--and there was a rain of blows and a thunder of laughter from all my schoolmates. Madame, since that day I never hear the word _religion_ without having my back turn pale with terror, and my cheeks turn red with shame. And to tell the honest truth, _le crédit_ has during my life stood me in the better stead than _la religion_. It occurs to me just at this instant that I still owe the landlord of The Lion in Bologna five dollars. And I pledge you my sacred word of honor that I would willingly owe him five dollars more if I could only be certain that I should never again hear that unlucky word, _la religion_, as long as I live.