The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Volume 09: Friedrich Hebbel and Otto Ludwig
General
The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Volume 09: Friedrich Hebbel and Otto Ludwig
German literature -- 19th century -- Translations into English; German literature -- 20th century -- Translations into English
Even in my earliest years my imagination was very vivid. When I was put
to bed in the evening the rafters above me began to crawl, from every
nook and corner of the room distorted visages made grimaces, and the
most familiar objects, such as the cane on which I myself used to ride,
the foot of the table, yes, even the coverlet on my bed with its flowers
and figures, grew strange and filled me with terror. I believe it is
well to distinguish here between the vague general fear, which is
natural to all children without exception, and a greater one which
embodies its terrifying images in clear-cut distinct forms and really
makes them objective to the young soul. The former fear was shared by my
brother, who lay beside me, but his eyes always closed very soon and
then he slept quietly until bright daylight; the latter tormented me
alone, and not only did it keep sleep far from me, but when sleep
finally came, often frightened it away again and made me call for help
in the middle of the night. How deeply the phantasms of this same fear
impressed themselves upon me can be gathered from the fact that they
return in full force in every serious illness. As soon as the feverishly
seething blood rushes over my brain and drowns my consciousness, the
oldest devils, driving out and disarming all laterborn ones, come back
again, and that best shows, without doubt, how they must once have
tortured me.
But by day, as well, my imagination was unusually, and perhaps
unhealthily, active. Ugly people, for example, whom my brother laughed
at and mimicked, filled me with dread. A little hunch-backed tailor--on
either side of whose triangular, deathly-pale face, immoderately long
ears stood out, ears moreover which were bright red and
transparent--could not pass by without my running with screams into the
house; and it almost caused my death when he once, in a passion,
followed me, scolding and calling me a stupid youngster, and upbraiding
my mother because he thought she was making him play the bug-bear in her
domestic discipline. I could not endure the sight of a bone and buried
even the smallest one that came to light in our garden; nay later, when
in Susanna's school, I obliterated with my nails the word "rib" in my
catechism, because it always brought before me the disgusting object
which it designated as vividly as though the object itself lay there in
repulsive decay before my eyes. On the other hand, a rose-leaf, which a
breeze blew to me over the hedge, was as much to me as--nay, more than
the rose itself was to others, and words like tulip and lily, cherry and
apricot, apple and pear, immediately transplanted me into spring,
summer, and autumn; so that in the primer I liked to spell aloud the
pieces in which they occurred better than any others, and grew angry
each time when it was not my turn to do so. Only, unhappily, in the
world one needs the diminishing glass much oftener than the magnifying,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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