The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Volume 09: Friedrich Hebbel and Otto Ludwig
General
The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Volume 09: Friedrich Hebbel and Otto Ludwig
German literature -- 19th century -- Translations into English; German literature -- 20th century -- Translations into English
"And all of us," repeated Fritz and put nothing of his explanation of
the three words into his tone. "I know that you always think of us
all, so speak out merrily from your heart; I'll do the same."
Apollonius omitted his intended introduction. He had learnt to be wise
and cautious; but to be wise and cautious toward a brother would have
seemed to him to be duplicity. Even if he had known of his brother's
duplicity he, unlike the latter, would never have thought of meeting
him with the same weapons. Even in the face of his experience he would
have persuaded himself that he was mistaken.
"I think, Fritz," he, began cordially, "we should have been different
toward each other from what we have been." He good-naturedly took half
the blame on himself. In his own mind his brother put the whole of it
on him, and was about to assure him jovially of the contrary when
Apollonius continued. "Things have not been the same as they used to
be between us, nor as they should be. The reason for this, as far as I
know, is only your wife's dislike of me. Or do you know of any other?"
"I know of none," said his brother shrugging his shoulders
regretfully; but he thought of Apollonius' return against his advice,
of the ball, of the conference in the church loft, of his being pushed
aside in the matter of the repairs, of his brother's whole plan, of
that part of it that had been and of that part which was still to be
carried out. He thought that Apollonius was occupied only in trying to
put it into execution, and of how much depended on his guessing
Apollonius' next intention and bringing it to naught.
While he was thinking this, Apollonius went on speaking, with no idea
of what was passing in his brother's mind. "I do not know what it can
be that has made your wife dislike me. I only know that it cannot be
anything that I have done intentionally. Can you tell me what it is? I
do not want to accuse her; it is possible that there is something
about me that displeases her. And if so, then it is certainly nothing
that should be praised or spared. And I should be the very last to
spare myself if I only knew what it is. If you know, please tell me.
If it is anything bad you must not spare me, even if it should cause
you pain to tell me. If you know it and don't tell me, that can be the
only reason. But you would not offend me by telling me, really,
Fritz."--
Fritz Nettenmair did what Apollonius had just done; in his own mind he
measured his brother by himself. The result was bound to be to
Apollonius' disadvantage. Apollonius took his thoughtful silence for
an answer.
"If you do not know," he went on, "let us go to her together and ask
her. I must know what I ought to do. Our life cannot go on like this.
What would father say if he knew? I reproach myself day and night that
he does not know. It is better for us all, Fritz. Come, let us not put
it off."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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