Australia -- Fiction; Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; Melbourne (Vic.) -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Since, however, it seemed that some one had to be loved if you were to
be able to hold up your head with the rest, then it was easier,
infinitely easier, to love the curate. With the curate, no personal
contact was necessary--and that was more than could be said even of the
music-masters. In regard to them, pressures of the hand, as well as
countless nothings, were expected and enacted, in the bi-weekly reports
you rendered to those of your friends who followed the case. Whereas
for the curate it was possible to simulate immense ardour, without
needing either to humble your pride or call invention to your aid: the
worship took place from afar. The curate was, moreover, no unworthy
object; indeed he was quite attractive, in a lean, ascetic fashion,
with his spiritual blue eyes, and the plain gold cross that dangled
from his black watch-ribbon--though, it must be admitted, when he
preached, and grew greatly in earnest, his mouth had a way of opening
as if it meant to swallow the church--and Laura was by no means his
sole admirer. Several of her friends had a fancy for him, especially as
his wife, who was much older than he, was a thin, elderly lady with a
tired face.
And now, by her own experience, Laura was led to the following
discovery: that, if you imagine a thing with sufficient force, you can
induce your imagining to become reality. By dint of pretending that it
was so, she gradually worked herself up into an attack of love, which
was genuine enough to make her redden when Mr. Shepherd was spoken of,
and to enjoy being teased about him. And since, at any rate when in
church, she was a sincerely religious little girl, and one to
whom--notwithstanding her protested indifference to forms of
worship--such emotional accessories as flowers, and music, and highly
coloured vestments made a strong appeal, her feelings for Mr. Shepherd
were soon mystically jumbled up with her piety: the eastward slant for
the Creed, and the Salutation at the Sacred Name, seemed not alone
homage due to the Deity, but also a kind of minor homage offered to and
accepted by Mr. Shepherd; the school-pew being so near the chancel that
it was not difficult to believe yourself the recipient of personal
notice.
At home during the winter holidays, his name chanced to cross her lips.
Straightway it occurred to Mother that he was the nephew of an old
friend whom she had long lost sight of letters passed between Warrenega
and Melbourne, and shortly after her return to the College Laura learnt
that she was to spend the coming monthly holiday at Mr. Shepherd's
house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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