'Do you think,' he asked, 'that to see you here, and know that you
understand me at last, would not make up for much harder treatment
than I ever had from you, Mabel? If that were all--but he has told
you, you said, told you the whole sad story. Mabel--what are you going
to do?'
She put the question aside with a gesture of heart-sick pride: 'What
does it matter about me? I can only think of you just now--let me
forget all the rest while I may!'
'Dying men have their privileges,' he said, 'and I have not much more
time. Mabel, I must ask you: What have you said to Mark?'
'Nothing,' she said, with a low moan, 'what was there to say? He must
know that he has no wife now.'
'Mabel, you have not left him!' he cried.
'Not yet,' she said, turning away wearily; 'he brought me to this
house--he is here now, I believe.... You are torturing me with these
questions, Vincent.'
'Answer me this once,' he persisted, 'do you mean to leave him?'
She rose to her feet. 'What else can I do,' she demanded, 'now that I
know? The Mark I loved has gone for ever--he never even existed! I
have no husband beyond the name. I have been in a dream all this time,
and I wake to find myself alone! Only an hour ago and Mark was all the
world to me--think what he must be to me from this time! No, I cannot
live with him. I could not breathe the same air with him. I am ashamed
that I could ever have loved him. He is all unworthy, and mean, and
false, and I thought him noble and generous!'
'You are too hard,' said Vincent, 'he is not all bad, he was weak--not
wicked; if I had not felt that, I should never have tried to keep his
secret, and forced him, against his will, to keep it himself. And now
he has confessed it all to you, when there was no fear of discovery to
urge him, only because he could not endure the thought of my bearing
your displeasure to the end. He did not know that that was so till
this afternoon, and I told him without thinking it would have that
effect on him--I did him an injustice there. He must have gone back
and accused himself at once. Think, Mabel, was there nothing unselfish
and brave in that? He knew what you would think of him, he knew that
he was safe if he kept silence--and yet he spoke, because he preferred
the worst for himself to allowing me to bear the penalty for his sins.
Is a man who could act thus utterly lost?'
'Lost to me!' she said passionately, 'the confession came too late;
and how could any confession atone for such a sin! No, he is too
unworthy, I can never trust him, never forgive him!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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