The Gipsy: A Tale (Vols I & II)James, G. P. R. (George Payne Rainsford)
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The Gipsy: A Tale (Vols I & II)
James, G. P. R. (George Payne Rainsford)
Romanies -- Fiction
The agony of remorse was the first thing that succeeded; but
self-preservation and the enjoyment of that which he had so dearly
purchased, became the next considerations, and he bent all the
energies of a keen and daring mind to that purpose. He mastered his
own feelings, both bodily and mental; and, after returning to London
with a degree of speed and perseverance that killed the horse which
bore him, he overcame both personal fatigue and anguish of heart, and
showed himself on the evening of his return at two private parties and
one public place; and, what is more, he showed himself with a smiling
countenance and an unembarrassed air. But when it was all over--the
examination of the facts, the taking possession of the property, and
the removal of those who could betray him--the excitement which had
been caused by danger passed away; that bubble, the hope of happiness
without virtue, burst under his rude touch, and left his heart to
remorse for ever.
Knowing that he must often see his brother's child, though at first
the sight was full of agony, he forced himself, by a great effort, to
endure it, till he had overcome the pain by habit; and at the same
time the lingering remains of some better feelings in his heart made
him look upon every generous or kindly thing that he could do towards
her as an act of atonement for the crime he had committed.
Such were some of the motives, or, rather, such were some of the
facts, which had influenced Lord Dewry in all his actions for the last
twenty years. For a time, indeed, he had affected gayety which he did
not feel, and mingled in society which had lost all charm for him; but
the revellings of the never-dying worm upon his heart's inmost core
would make themselves felt, and gradually he drew back from the world,
gave himself up to solitude and stately reclusion, forgot what it was
to smile, and only mingled with his fellow-men to pour forth upon them
the gall and bitterness that welled from an everlasting source in his
own bosom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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