The Girl of the Period, and Other Social Essays, Vol. 1 (of 2)Linton, E. Lynn (Elizabeth Lynn)
General
The Girl of the Period, and Other Social Essays, Vol. 1 (of 2)
Linton, E. Lynn (Elizabeth Lynn)
Girls; Women
Home life stagnates in England; and in very few families is there any
mean between dissipation and this stagnation. We can scarcely wonder
that so many husbands think matrimony a mistake as we have it in our
insular arrangements; that they look back regretfully to the time when
they were unfettered and not bored; or that their free friends, who
watch them as wild birds watch their caged companions, curiously and
reflectively, share their opinion. Wife and home, after all, make up
but part of a man's life; they are not his all, and do not satisfy the
whole of his social instinct; nor is any one woman the concentration
of all womanhood to a man, leaving nothing that is beautiful, nor in
its own unconjugal way desirable, on the outside. Besides, when with
his wife a man is often as much isolated as when alone, for any real
companionship there is between them. Few women take a living interest
in the lives of men, and fewer still understand them. They expect the
husband to sympathize with them in the kitchen gossip and the nursery
chatter, the neighbours' doings and all the small household politics;
but they are utterly unable to comprehend his pleasures, his
thoughts, his duties, the responsibilities of his profession, or the
bearings of any public question in which he takes a part.
Even if this were not so, and granting that they could enter fully
into his life and sympathize with him as intelligent equals, not only
as compassionate saints or loving children, there would still be the
need of novelty, and still the certainty of boredom without it. For
human life, like all other forms of life, must have a due proportion
of fresh elements continually added to keep it sweet and growing, else
it becomes stagnant and stunted. And daily intercourse undeniably
exhausts the moral ground. After the close companionship of years no
one can remain mentally fresh to the other, unless indeed one or both
be of the rarest order of mind and of a practically inexhaustible
power of acquiring knowledge. Save these exceptional instances, we
must all of necessity get worn out by constant intercourse. We know
every thought, every opinion, and almost every square inch of
information possessed; we have heard the old stories again and again,
and know exactly what will lead up to them, and at what point they
will begin; we have measured the whole sweep of mind, and have probed
its depths; and though we may love and value what we have learnt, yet
we want something new--fresh food for interest, though not necessarily
a new love for the displacement of the old. But this is what very few
Englishwomen can understand or will allow. They hold so intensely
by the doctrine of unity that they are even jealous of a man's
pursuits, if they think these take up any place in his mind which
might also be theirs. They must be good for every part of his life;
and the poorest of them all must be his only source of interest,
suffering no other woman to share his admiration nor obtain his
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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