The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
He swayed gracefully, conveying a suggestion of departure without
moving his feet. The action was enough for Sam. Dignity gave an
expiring gurgle, and passed away, regretted by all.
“Don’t go!” he cried.
The idea of being left alone in this infernal lane, without human
support, overpowered him. Moreover, Webster had personality. He exuded
it. Already Sam had begun to cling to him in spirit, and rely on his
support.
“Don’t go!”
“Certainly not, if you do not wish it, sir.”
Webster coughed gently, to show his appreciation of the delicate nature
of the conversation. He was consumed with curiosity, and his threatened
departure had been but a pretence. A team of horses could not have
moved Webster at that moment.
“Might I ask, then, what...?”
“There’s been a misunderstanding,” said Sam. “At least, there was, but
now there isn’t, if you see what I mean.”
“I fear I have not quite grasped your meaning, sir.”
“Well, I—I—played a sort of—you might almost call it a sort of trick on
Miss Bennett. With the best motives, of course!”
“Of course, sir!”
“And she’s found out! I don’t know how she’s found out, but she has! So
there you are!”
“Of what nature would the trick be, sir? A species of ruse, sir,—some
kind of innocent deception?”
“Well, it was like this.”
It was a complicated story to tell, and Sam, a prey to conflicting
emotions, told it badly; but such was the almost superhuman
intelligence of Webster, that he succeeded in grasping the salient
points. Indeed, he said that it reminded him of something of much the
same kind in the Nosegay Novelette, “All for Her,” where the hero,
anxious to win the esteem of the lady of his heart, had bribed a tramp
to simulate an attack upon her in a lonely road.
“The principle’s the same,” said Webster.
“Well, what did he do when she found out?”
“She did not find out, sir. All ended happily, and never had the
wedding-bells in the old village church rung out a blither peal than
they did at the subsequent union.”
Sam was thoughtful.
“Bribed a tramp to attack her, did he?”
“Yes, sir. She had never thought much of him till that moment, sir.
Very cold and haughty she had been, his social status being
considerably inferior to her own. But, when she cried for help, and he
dashed out from behind a hedge, well, it made all the difference.”
“I wonder where I could get a good tramp,” said Sam, meditatively.
Webster shook his head.
“I really would hardly recommend such a procedure, sir.”
“No, it would be difficult to make a tramp understand what you wanted.”
Sam brightened.
“I’ve got it! _You_ pretend to attack her, and I’ll....”
“I couldn’t, sir! I couldn’t, really! I should jeopardise my
situation.”
“Oh, come. Be a man!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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