The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
At about the moment when Mrs. Hignett was crunching the gravel of the
drive, Eustace was lying in bed, listening to Jane Hubbard as she told
the story of how an alligator had once got into her tent while she was
camping on the banks of the Issawassi River in Central Africa. Ever
since he had become ill, it had been the large-hearted girl’s kindly
practice to soothe him to rest with some such narrative from her
energetic past.
“And what happened then?” asked Eustace, breathlessly.
He had raised himself on one elbow in his bed. His eyes shone excitedly
from a face which was almost the exact shape of an Association
football; for he had reached the stage of mumps when the patient begins
to swell as though somebody were inflating him with a bicycle-pump.
“Oh, I jabbed him in the eye with a pair of nail-scissors, and he went
away!” said Jane Hubbard.
“You know, you’re wonderful!” cried Eustace. “Simply wonderful!”
Jane Hubbard flushed a little beneath her tan. She loved his pretty
enthusiasm. He was so genuinely stirred by what were to her the merest
commonplaces of life.
“Why, if an alligator got into _my_ tent,” said Eustace, “I simply
wouldn’t know what to do! I should be nonplussed.”
“Oh, it’s just a knack,” said Jane, carelessly. “You soon pick it up.”
“Nail-scissors!”
“It ruined them, unfortunately. They were never any use again. For the
rest of the trip I had to manicure myself with a hunting-spear.”
“You’re a marvel!”
Eustace lay back in bed and gave himself up to meditation. He had
admired Jane Hubbard before, but the intimacy of the sick-room and the
stories which she had told him to relieve the tedium of his invalid
state had set the seal on his devotion. It has always been like this
since Othello wooed Desdemona. For three days Jane Hubbard had been
weaving her spell about Eustace Hignett, and now she monopolised his
entire horizon. She had spoken, like Othello, of antres vast and
deserts idle, rough quarries, rocks and hills whose heads touched
heaven, and of the cannibals that each other eat, the Anthropophagi,
and men whose heads do grow beneath their shoulders. This to hear would
Eustace Hignett seriously incline, and swore, in faith, ’twas strange,
’twas passing strange, ’twas pitiful, ’twas wondrous pitiful. He loved
her for the dangers she had passed, and she loved him that he did pity
them. In fact, one would have said that it was all over except buying
the licence, had it not been for the fact that his very admiration
served to keep Eustace from pouring out his heart. It seemed incredible
to him that the queen of her sex, a girl who had chatted in terms of
equality with African head-hunters and who swatted alligators as though
they were flies, could ever lower herself to care for a man who looked
like the “after-taking” advertisement of a patent food.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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