The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Mr. Bennett sat in the candlelight with his tongue out and the first
beads of a chilly perspiration bedewing his forehead. It was impossible
for a man of his complexion to turn pale, but he had turned as pale as
he could. Panic gripped him. A man whose favourite reading was medical
encyclopædias, he needed no doctor to tell him that this was the end.
Fate had dealt him a knockout blow; his number was up; and in a very
short while now people would be speaking of him in the past tense and
saying what a pity it all was.
A man in Mr. Bennett’s position experiences strange emotions, and many
of them. In fact, there are scores of writers, who, reckless of the
cost of white paper, would devote two chapters at this point to an
analysis of the unfortunate man’s reflections and be glad of the
chance. It is sufficient, however, merely to set on record that there
was no stint. Whatever are the emotions of a man in such a position,
Mr. Bennett had them. He had them all, one after another, some of them
twice. He went right through the list from soup to nuts, until finally
he reached remorse. And, having reached remorse, he allowed that to
monopolise him.
In his early days, when he was building up his fortune, Mr. Bennett had
frequently done things to his competitors in Wall Street which would
not have been tolerated in the purer atmosphere of a lumber-camp, and,
if he was going to be remorseful about anything, he might well have
started by being remorseful about that. But it was on his most
immediate past that his wistful mind lingered. He had quarrelled with
his lifelong friend, Henry Mortimer. He had broken off his daughter’s
engagement with a deserving young man. He had spoken harsh words to his
faithful valet. The more Mr. Bennett examined his conduct, the deeper
the iron entered into his soul.
Fortunately, none of his acts were irreparable. He could undo them. He
could make amends. The small hours of the morning are not perhaps the
most suitable time for making amends, but Mr. Bennett was too
remorseful to think of that. Do It Now had ever been his motto, so he
started by ringing the bell for Webster.
The same writers who would have screamed with joy at the chance of
dilating on Mr. Bennett’s emotions would find a congenial task in
describing the valet’s thought-processes when the bell roused him from
a refreshing sleep at a few minutes after three a.m. However, by the
time he entered his employer’s room he was his own calm self again.
“Good morning, sir,” he remarked equably. “I fear that it will be the
matter of a few minutes to prepare your shaving water. I was not
aware,” said Webster in manly apology for having been found wanting,
“that you intended rising so early.”
“Webster,” said Mr. Bennett, “I’m a dying man!”
“Indeed, sir?”
“A dying man!” repeated Mr. Bennett.
“Very good, sir. Which of your suits would you wish me to lay out?”
Mr. Bennett had the feeling that something was going wrong with the
scene.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account