The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Since they had last met, at Sir Mallaby’s dinner-table, Sam had told
himself perhaps a hundred times that he cared nothing about Billie,
that she had gone out of his life and was dead to him; but
unfortunately he did not believe it. A man takes a deal of convincing
on a point like this, and Sam had never succeeded in convincing himself
for more than two minutes at a time. It was useless to pretend that he
did not still love Billie more than ever, because he knew he did; and
now, as the truth swept over him for the hundred and first time, he
groaned hollowly and gave himself up to the grey despair which is the
almost inseparable companion of young men in his position.
So engrossed was he in his meditation that he did not hear the light
footstep in the outer office, and it was only when it was followed by a
tap on the door of the inner office that he awoke with a start to the
fact that clients were in his midst. He wished that he had taken his
father’s advice and locked up the office. Probably this was some
frightful bore who wanted to make his infernal will or something, and
Sam had neither the ability nor the inclination to assist him.
Was it too late to escape? Perhaps if he did not answer the knock, the
blighter might think there was nobody at home. But suppose he opened
the door and peeped in? A spasm of Napoleonic strategy seized Sam. He
dropped silently to the floor and concealed himself under the desk.
Napoleon was always doing that sort of thing.
There was another tap. Then, as he had anticipated, the door opened.
Sam, crouched like a hare in its form, held his breath. It seemed to
him that he was going to bring this delicate operation off with
success. He felt he had acted just as Napoleon would have done in a
similar crisis. And so, no doubt, he had to a certain extent; only
Napoleon would have seen to it that his boots and about eighteen inches
of trousered legs were not sticking out, plainly visible to all who
entered.
“Good morning,” said a voice.
Sam thrilled from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. It was
the voice which had been ringing in his ears through all his waking
hours.
“Are you busy, Mr. Marlowe?” asked Billie, addressing the boots.
Sam wriggled out from under the desk like a disconcerted tortoise.
“Dropped my pen,” he mumbled, as he rose to the surface.
He pulled himself together with an effort that was like a physical
exercise. He stared at Billie dumbly. Then, recovering speech, he
invited her to sit down, and seated himself at the desk.
“Dropped my pen!” he gurgled again.
“Yes?” said Billie.
“Fountain-pen,” babbled Sam, “with a broad nib.”
“Yes?”
“A broad _gold_ nib,” went on Sam, with the painful exactitude which
comes only from embarrassment or the early stages of intoxication.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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