The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Billie uttered a cry of horror.
“He tried to shoot Miss Milliken!”
“He _did_ shoot her—the third time,” said Sam, warming to his work.
“Only in the arm, fortunately,” he added. “But my father is rather a
stern disciplinarian and he had to go. I mean, we couldn’t keep him
after that.”
“Good gracious!”
“She used to be my father’s stenographer, and she was thrown a good
deal with Peters. It was quite natural that he should fall in love with
her. She was a beautiful girl, with rather your own shade of hair.
Peters is a man of volcanic passions, and, when, after she had given
him to understand that his love was returned, she informed him one day
that she was engaged to a fellow at Ealing West, he went right off his
onion—I mean, he became completely distraught. I must say that he
concealed it very effectively at first. We had no inkling of his
condition till he came in with the pistol. And, after that ... well, as
I say, we had to dismiss him. A great pity, for he was a good clerk.
Still, it wouldn’t do. It wasn’t only that he tried to shoot Miss
Milliken. The thing became an obsession with him, and we found that he
had a fixed idea that every red-haired woman who came into the office
was the girl who had deceived him. You can see how awkward that made
it. Red hair is so fashionable now-a-days.”
“My hair is red!” whispered Billie pallidly.
“Yes, I noticed it myself. I told you it was much the same shade as
Miss Milliken’s. It’s rather fortunate that I happened to be here with
you when he came.”
“But he may be lurking out there still!”
“I expect he is,” said Sam carelessly. “Yes, I suppose he is. Would you
like me to go and send him away? All right.”
“But—but is it safe?”
Sam uttered a light laugh.
“I don’t mind taking a risk or two for your sake,” he said, and
sauntered from the room, closing the door behind him. Billie followed
him with worshipping eyes.
Jno. Peters rose politely from the chair in which he had seated himself
for the more comfortable perusal of the copy of _Home Whispers_ which
he had brought with him to refresh his mind in the event of the firm
being too busy to see him immediately. He was particularly interested
in the series of chats with Young Mothers.
“Hullo, Peters,” said Sam. “Want anything?”
“Very sorry to have disturbed you, Mr. Samuel. I just looked in to say
good-bye. I sail on Saturday, and my time will be pretty fully taken up
all the week. I have to go down to the country to get some final
instructions from the client whose important papers I am taking over.
I’m sorry to have missed your father, Mr. Samuel.”
“Yes, this is his golf day. I’ll tell him you looked in.”
“Is there anything I can do before I go?”
“Do?”
“Well—”—Jno. Peters coughed tactfully—“I see that you are engaged with
a client, Mr. Samuel, and I was wondering if any little point of law
had arisen with which you did not feel yourself quite capable of
coping, in which case I might perhaps be of assistance.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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