'That elaborate arrangement in swallows and rushes, for instance,' said
Brian, laughingly: 'you are working at it as if for a wager. Perhaps it
is a wager--so many stitches in so many consecutive days--is that it? No,
Miss Palliser, your swallows must wait. The party has been planned on
your account, and to leave you at home would be like leaving Hamlet out
of the play. Besides, I thought you would like to see your cousins and
your ancestral halls.'
'I shall be very glad to see my cousins, for my father likes them very
much; but I do not feel any thrilling interest in the ancestral halls.'
'And yet your father was born there.'
'Yes, that is a reason for being interested in Wimperfield. But my father
has so seldom talked about his birthplace. He speaks a great deal more of
India. That life in a strange far-away land seems to have blotted out the
memory of his childhood. He talks of Addiscomb sometimes but hardly ever
of Wimperfield.'
She laid aside her work as the youthful butler brought out the tea-table.
It was no new thing for her to pour out Mr. Wendover's tea, since it was
his custom to drop in at his aunt's very often at this hour, when the day
had not been given up to excursionising; but it was new for her to be
alone with him at this social meal, and she found herself longing
ardently for Aunt Betsy's return.
She who could have found so much to talk about had her mind been at ease,
was curiously silent as she handed Mr. Wendover his tea, and offered the
cake and fruit, which always accompanied the meal at the Homestead. Her
heart was beating much faster than it should have done, and she was
considering whether it was worth while to place herself in the way of
feeling the pain, the hidden shame, the sense of falsehood which
oppressed her at this moment; whether it would not be better to run any
risk, even the hazard of offending Betsy Wendover, the kindest friend she
had in the world, rather than remain in her present position.
One thing she could have done which would have given her immediate
extrication, and that which seemed the most natural thing to do. She
could have told the truth--told Betsy Wendover all about her unlucky
marriage. But she would rather have killed herself than do this one
righteous thing; for she thought that if her marriage were once known to
Brian's relations she would be compelled to assume her natural position
as his wife. So long as the marriage remained a secret to all the world
except those two whom it most concerned they were free to ignore the tie.
They could live their lives apart; and to the end of time it might be as
if such a marriage had never been. Her husband being consentient to this
life-long separation, her lot might be fairly happy. She had never tried
to penetrate the future. Perhaps to-day for the first time there had
flashed into her mind the thought of what a bright and glorious future
might have been hers had she not so forfeited her freedom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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