On a certain night, early in the month of September, young John dreamt
again--but for the first time for many months--the dream that had, in
the old days, come to him so often. In those days, perhaps, he had not
called it a dream. He had not given it a name, and in the quiet early
days he had simply greeted, first a protector, then a friend. But that
was all very long ago, when one was a baby and allowed oneself to
imagine anything. He had, of course, grown ashamed of such confiding
fancies, and as he had become more confident had shoved away, with
stout, determined fingers, those dim memories, poignancies, regrets. How
childish one had been at four, and five, and six! How independent and
strong now, on the very edge of the world of school! It perturbed him,
therefore, that at this moment of crisis this old dream should recur,
and it perturbed him the more, as he lay in bed next morning and thought
it over, that it should have seemed to him at the time no dream at all,
but simply a natural and actual occurrence.
He had been asleep, and then he had been awake. He had seen, sitting on
his bed and looking at him with mild, kind eyes his old Friend. His
Friend was always the same, conveying so absolutely kindness and
protection, and his beard, his hands, the appealing humour of his gaze,
recalled to John the early years, with a swift, imperative urgency.
John, so independent and assured, felt, nevertheless, again that old
alarm of a strange, unreal world, and the necessity of an appeal for
protection from the only one of them all who understood.
"Hallo!" said John.
"Well?" said his Friend. "It's many months since I've been to see you,
isn't it?"
"That's not my fault," said John.
"In a way, it is. You haven't wanted me, have you? Haven't given me a
thought."
"There's been so much to do. I'm going to school, you know."
"Of course. That's why I have come now."
Beside the window a dark curtain blew forward a little, bulged as though
some one were behind it, thinned again in the pale dim shadows of a moon
that, beyond the window, fought with driving clouds. That curtain
would--how many ages ago!--have tightened young John's heart with
terror, and the contrast made by his present slim indifference drew him,
in some warm, confiding fashion, closer to his visitor.
"Anyway, I'm jolly glad you've come now. I haven't really forgotten you,
ever. Only in the day-time----"
"Oh, yes, you have," his Friend said, smiling. "It's natural enough and
right that you should. But if only you will believe always that I once
was here, if only you'll not be persuaded into thinking me impossible,
silly, absurd, sentimental--with ever so many other things--that's all
I've come now to ask you."
"Why, how should I ever?" John demanded indignantly.
"After all, I _was_ a help--for a long time when things were difficult
and you had so much to learn--all that time you wanted me, and I was
here."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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