England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
When the meal was done, they went back again up the steep slope, and
then away on the left. The country on this side was less open, and
more hilly, deeper hollows and larger woods, still there was not much
difficulty in finding the way. The latter part of the day was not so
fine as the earlier, the sky clouded over, and, though there was still
no wind, the air grew more chilly. They hardly noticed the change,
being in a dense young wood where there was little light, but Julia
lost something of the holiday spirit, and Rawson-Clew became grave,
talking more seriously of serious things than had ever before happened
in their curious acquaintanceship. They sat down to rest in a green
hollow, and Julia began to arrange neatly the bunch of short-stemmed
thyme flowers that she carried. They had been quiet for some little
time, she thinking about their curious acquaintance, and wondering
when it would end. Of course it would end--she knew that; it was a
thing of mind only; there was very little feeling about it--a certain
mutual interest and a liking that had grown of late, kindness on his
part, gratitude on hers, nothing more. But of its sort it had grown to
be intimate; she had told him things of her thoughts, and of herself,
and her people too, that she had told to no one else; and he, which
was perhaps more remarkable, had sometimes returned the compliment.
And yet by and by--soon, perhaps--he would go away, and it would be as
if they had never met; it was like people on a steamer together, she
thought, for the space of the voyage they saw each other daily, saw
more intimately into each other than many blood relations did, and
then, when port was reached, they separated, the whole thing
finished. She wondered when this would finish, and just then
Rawson-Clew spoke, and unconsciously answered her thought.
"I am going back to England soon," he said.
She looked up. "Is your work here finished?" she asked.
"It is at an end," he answered; "that is the same thing."
Then she, her intuition enlightened by a like experience suddenly knew
that he, too, had failed. "You mean it cannot be done," she said.
He opened his cigarette case, and selected a cigarette carefully. "May
I smoke?" he asked; "there are a good many gnats and mosquitoes about
here." He felt for a match, and, when he had struck it, asked
impersonally, "Do you believe things cannot be done?"
"Yes," she answered; "I know that sometimes they cannot; I have proved
it to myself."
"You have not, then, much opinion of the people who do not know when
they are beaten?"
"I don't think I have," she answered; "you cannot help knowing when
you are beaten if you really are--that is, unless you are a fool. Of
course, if you are only beaten in one round, or one effort, that is
another thing; you can get up and try again. But if you are really and
truly beaten, by yourself, or circumstances, or something--well,
there's an end; there is nothing but to get up and go on."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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