Women -- Great Britain; Women -- Social conditions
be bad that she should be tempted to go too far or be forced, on the
other hand, into a habit of indifference through having continually to
restrain her natural impulse of devotion in the general interests of
the whole household.
Another argument for entirely home education is the moral one. It is
one of the most powerful in its appeal to mothers, to whom the idea of
adolescent impurity is revolting. Personally, I cannot see any reason
for supposing that the temptations of an adolescent male, which are
absolutely inevitable, will be any less violent at home than at school.
The mother of a French boy certainly does not believe that they are,
and does not act on that assumption. So far as strength to resist
temptations goes, the influence of judicious parents on boys at school
is, as I know perfectly well, quite as strong and quite as successful
as it could have been if the boys had never left their sight. Besides,
there are few mothers who can resist a kind of morbid spying on their
children as they first come into contact with physical experience of
their sex. Nothing could possibly be more irritating for a boy, and it
may lead him into foolishness out of more defiance and desperation. It
is a thorny time for both parties to the relationship, and happy are
those mothers and sons who come out of it with mutual love and respect
undiminished. Sir Sydney Olivier, to judge from another passage in the
letter already referred to, would like the morals of boys to be saved
and their sentimental education completed by love affairs with mature
females. Such affairs are, no doubt, extremely valuable in certain
cases. As Rousseau said in his Confessions: “Il est certain que les
entretiens intéressants et sensés d’une femme de mérite sont plus
propres à former un jeune homme que toute la pédantesque philosophie
des livres.” But he also allowed still closer relations with Madame
de Warens to be included in his own scheme of development. It is to
be doubted if England is suited to this form of education. Certainly
few English mothers would regard without intense suspicion the ideal
and elderly Egeria, who is to absorb usefully and harmlessly all the
superfluous sentimental energy of their beloved son. Their hearts are
so terribly vulnerable in this respect, poor things, for they hate
physical truths and love sentimental pruderies. Only the best of them
really look things in the face and say to their boys: “Look here, I
know how things are. You are growing up and I sympathise deeply with
all your feelings and temptations. I have always tried to teach you
that the greatest things, and the only things truly valuable, are love
and beauty and truth. I think you have learnt what I meant to teach
you, and now you will have to begin to put it to the test. I shall
trust you to do nothing unworthy. I shall not ask you questions or spy
upon you. But, whatever you do, remember there is nobody in the world
more ready to hear your troubles or to help you than your mother.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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