Composers -- Fiction; German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction
“It is so pleasant to be silent with you,” replied Eberhard in a
downcast mood.
Filled with a disagreeable premonition, Eleanore sought out one of the
many hundreds of lights dimly flickering down in the city, fixed her
eyes on it, and stubbornly refused to look at any other earthly object.
“If I appeal to you at this hour,” the young Baron finally began, “it is
to a certain extent exactly as if I were appealing to the Supreme Court.
My expectations in life have, with one single exception, been utterly
and irrevocably crushed. It depends quite upon you, Eleanore, whether I
am to become and remain a useless parasite of human society, or a man
who has firmly decided to pay for his share of happiness by an equal
amount of honest work. I offer you everything I have. It is not much,
but I offer it to you without haggling and forever. You and you alone
can save me. That is what I wanted to say to you.”
He looked up at the clouds, leaning on his cane, which he had placed
behind his back.
“I have forbidden you to speak of this,” whispered Eleanore in profound
dismay, “and you promised me that you would not say anything about it.”
“I gave you my promise because I loved you; I break it for the same
reason,” replied Eberhard. “I feel that such a promise is the act of a
foolish child, when the building up or the tearing down of a human life
depends upon it. If you are of a different opinion, I can only beg your
pardon. Probably I have been mistaken.”
Eleanore shook her head; she was grieved.
“It was my plan to go to England with you, and there we would be
married,” continued Eberhard. “It is quite impossible for me to get
married here: I loathe this city. It is impossible, because if I did my
people would in all probability set up some claims to which they are no
longer entitled and for which I would fight. The mere thought of doing
this repels me. And it is also impossible because ...” at this he
stopped and bit his lips.
Eleanore looked at him; she was filled with curiosity. His pedantic
enumeration of the various hindrances as well as the romanticism of his
plans amused her. When she detected the expression of downright grief in
his face, she felt sorry for him. She came one step nearer to him; he
took her hand, bowed, and pressed his lips to her fingers. She jerked
her hand back.
“Fatal circumstances have placed me in a most humiliating situation; if
I am not to succumb to them, I must shake them off at once,” said
Eberhard anxiously. “I was inexperienced; I have been deceived. There is
a person connected with my case who hardly deserves the name of a human
being; he is a monster in the garb of an honest citizen. I have not the
faintest idea what I am to do next, Eleanore. I must leave at once. In a
strange country I may regain my strength and mental clearness. With you
I could defy the universe. Believe in me, have confidence in me!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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