There had never been an active feud between Gaylord and Steve; it was
always that hidden enmity of a weak culprit toward a strong man.
Neither had Trudy been able to win Steve by her Titian curls,
baby-blue eyes, and obese compliments. In fact, Gaylord had avoided
Steve the last year. He was the one Beatrice called upon to play with
her, he accompanied her shopping, even unto the milliner's, and had
been in New York one time when Beatrice had gone down to see about
buying a moleskin wrap. Not even Trudy knew that he had actually
adopted a monocle and squired Beatrice round in state.
So he approached Steve with the attitude of "I hate you and am only
waiting to prove it but meanwhile I'll play off the friend lizard no
matter how painful."
But after a few "my dear fellows" and "old dears" and gibes about the
disordered office with its prosaic chairs and Mary Faithful, quite
flushed and plain looking as she dashed round giving orders, Gaylord
found himself being neatly set outside on the curbstone and told to
remain in that exact position.
"I hate this decorating business," Steve said in final condemnation.
"I agree with my father-in-law that when a man approaches me with a
book of sample braids and cretonnes under his arm I feel it only
righteous that he be shot at sunrise--and now you know how strong you
stand with me. I don't mind Beatrice having her whirl at the thing. A
new colour scheme as often as she has a manicure; that's different.
But my office stays as I wish it and you can't rush in any globes of
goldfish and inkstands composed of reclining young females with their
little hands forming the ink cup, while a single spray of cherry
blossoms flourishes over the hook I hang my hat and coat upon. Oh, no,
trot back to your boudoirs and purr your prettiest, but stop trying to
tackle real men."
Gaylord's one-cylinder brain had become more efficient by dint of
daily sparring with his wife. So he retorted: "She is going to make
you a present of it--your birthday gift, I understand. Does that alter
the case?"
Steve looked at him with an even wilder frown. "Tell her to build a
bomb-proof pergola for herself and mark it for me just the same. When
we redecorate round here it takes Miss Faithful about a half hour to
plan the show. Good-bye, Gay, I'm awfully rushed. Thanks just as
much."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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