/* “There was a crooked man Who walked a crooked mile; But I, when I go walking, Don’t walk in crooked style. I keep my chin and stomach in And hold my chest up higher, And step along so straight and strong, And never, never tire.” */ You can imagine the silence which prevailed in the auditorium after this course in poetry. Could it be that some faint uneasiness penetrated the mind of the Portland superintendent of schools? Apparently it did, for he now told the assembled twelve hundred teachers that he had a story to teach them. There were some teachers who were dissatisfied with the school system, and were accustomed more or less surreptitiously to criticize it; for the benefit of such teachers Mr. Grout mentioned that once upon a time he had owned a dog, and this dog had acquired the habit of running out on the highway and barking at everybody and everything that went by. Once a big automobile had come along, and the dog had rushed out at that, and afterwards the dog had been buried at the foot of a big tree, and had made excellent fertilizer for the tree. The fate of this dog was one for all teachers to bear in mind and apply the moral in their lives. After which the twelve hundred teachers joined in singing: “Believe me, if all those endearing young charms, Which I gaze on so fondly today”; and the assembly was adjourned. I was solemnly assured by five teachers at once, that at the assembly of the following year Mr. Grout started out to ascertain if the teachers still remembered the poem which he had taught them; but one of the board members seated on the platform burst out laughing, and brought the poetical proceedings to an end. The board member thought it was funny, and maybe you think it is funny; but I don’t. I think it one more proof of the deliberate conspiracy which the masters of our plutocratic empire have hatched, to keep the American people at the mental age of eight. The schools are now conducted upon the basis of keeping the pupils at that age; and of course the safest way to do this is to keep the teachers at the same age, and likewise the principals, and the supervisors—and the superintendents.