Country life -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
Certainly, Caroline thought, she had not intended to accept him that
afternoon, and if she had admitted to herself a possibility that she
might do so, Caroline thought she would have divined it. Having
accepted him, she was much as she had been before. She was bright, and
contented, and complete mistress of herself. She talked of their father,
and of others, friends and relations who might be expected to be pleased
at her news. They had already sent off telegrams, going down to the
village themselves before tea. They had both talked of an early
marriage, and of where they would live, and of what she would do while
Dick was at sea. She had been affectionate to Caroline, but had not
responded to her little secret advances of love and sympathy, which no
one else would have noticed but to which she would have answered readily
enough if she had wanted to.
Caroline's heart was rather heavy. Beatrix had poured out all the tale
of her love to her a year before, and afterwards relied on her more than
any one to assuage her pain. Was she to be kept out of this new love
altogether? Or was there no love that could be acknowledged and rejoiced
over? Caroline would have little to offer if it was to be an affair of a
suitable marriage only. Without love, it would not be so eminently
suitable. In the future Beatrix would have the sort of place in the
world to which her birth and connections entitled her. But in the
meantime, as the wife of a sailor on active service, if she were to be
with him as much as possible, she would be cut off from a great deal of
what she had been accustomed to, and there would be no settling down for
her anywhere. On the face of it, her life would be less in accordance
with her tastes as Dick's wife than Caroline's would be if she were to
marry Francis Parry. And Caroline had told her father that if she had
loved Francis that wouldn't have mattered; she would have been happy
with him anywhere, as Viola Prescott had been happy with her husband in
surroundings little fitted for her. But without love it would
matter--surely to Beatrix as much as to herself.
And Beatrix had loved so whole-heartedly and so tenderly, although she
had had only a very short time to give herself up freely to the joy that
had come to her. And after that, until the end had come, she had only
had hope and the trust that was to be betrayed to uphold her; but still
she had flowered and developed under it. Love meant very much to her.
When the wounds left by the destruction of her first love had healed she
must love again in some happy time. She could not do without it. Wasn't
she laying up unhappiness for herself in taking a love that she could
not return in full measure? And was it fair to the man who would want
from her everything that it was in her to give to one whom she should
love as she had loved once already?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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