As she wandered on, the great school-bell began to ring; involuntarily
she quickened her step and joined the chattering children's
procession. She could have fancied the last ten years a dream. Were
they, indeed, other children, or were they not the same that jostled
her when she picked her way through this very slush in her clumsy
masculine boots? Surely those little girls in lilac print frocks were
her classmates! It was hard to realise that Time's wheel had been
whirling on, fashioning her to a woman; that, while she had been
living and learning, and seeing the manners of men and cities, the
Ghetto, unaffected by her experiences, had gone on in the same narrow
rut. A new generation of children had arisen to suffer and sport in
room of the old, and that was all. The thought overwhelmed her, gave
her a new and poignant sense of brute, blind forces; she seemed to
catch in this familiar scene of childhood the secret of the grey
atmosphere of her spirit. It was here she had, all insensibly,
absorbed those heavy vapours that formed the background of her being,
a permanent sombre canvas behind all the iridescent colours of joyous
emotion. _What_ had she in common with all this mean wretchedness?
Why, everything. This it was with which her soul had intangible
affinities, not the glory of sun and sea and forest, 'the palms and
temples of the South.'
The heavy vibrations of the bell ceased; the street cleared; Esther
turned back and walked instinctively homewards to Royal Street. Her
soul was full of the sense of the futility of life; yet the sight of
the great shabby house could still give her a chill. Outside the door
a wizened old woman, with a chronic sniff, had established a stall for
wizened old apples; but Esther passed her by heedless of her stare,
and ascended the two miry steps that led to the mud-carpeted passage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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