The morning of the Great White Fast broke bleak and grey. Esther,
alone in the house save for the servant, wandered from room to room in
dull misery. The day before had been almost a feast-day in the
Ghetto--everybody providing for the morrow. Esther had scarcely eaten
anything. Nevertheless she was fasting, and would fast for over
twenty-four hours, till the night fell. She knew not why. Her record
was unbroken, and instinct resented a breach now. She had always
fasted--even the Henry Goldsmiths fasted, and greater than the Henry
Goldsmiths! Q.C.'s fasted, and peers, and prize-fighters, and actors.
And yet Esther, like many far more pious persons, did not think of her
sins for a moment. She thought of everything but them--of the bereaved
family in that strange provincial town; of her own family in that
strange distant land. Well, she would soon be with them now. Her
passage was booked--a steerage passage it was, not because she could
not afford cabin fare, but from her morbid impulse to identify herself
with poverty. The same impulse led her to choose a vessel in which a
party of Jewish pauper immigrants was being shipped farther West. She
thought also of Dutch Debby, with whom she had spent the previous
evening; and of Raphael Leon, who had sent her, _viâ_ the publishers,
a letter which she could not trust herself to answer cruelly, and
which she deemed it most prudent to leave unanswered. Uncertain of her
powers of resistance, she scarcely ventured outside the house for fear
of his stumbling across her. Happily every day diminished the chances
of her whereabouts leaking out through some unsuspected channel.
About noon her restlessness carried her into the streets. There was a
festal solemnity about the air. Women and children, not at synagogue,
showed themselves at the doors, pranked in their best. Indifferently
pious young men sought relief from the ennui of the day-long service
in lounging about for a breath of fresh air; some even strolled
towards the Strand, and turned into the National Gallery, satisfied to
reappear for the twilight service. On all sides came the fervent roar
of prayer which indicated a synagogue or a _Chevrah_, the number of
places of worship having been indefinitely increased to accommodate
those who made their appearance for this occasion only.
Everywhere friends and neighbours were asking one another how they
were bearing the fast, exhibiting their white tongues and generally
comparing symptoms, the physical aspects of the Day of Atonement more
or less completely diverting attention from the spiritual.
Smelling-salts passed from hand to hand, and men explained to one
another that, but for the deprivation of their cigars, they could
endure _Yom Kippur_ with complacency.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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