British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
"It was _not_ your fault," he answered with smothered vehemence. "And
in any case, don't you see, it's no question of blame, but of
consequences. And we dare not shut our eyes to them. For this
business of marriage is a complicated affair. What's more, I believe
the wrench of immediate separation, with the comparative freedom it
involves, would come less hard on you in the long-run, than actual
marriage with a man of my stamp.--Oh, you would find me a sorry bargain
all round, I assure you," he concluded with a short, hard laugh. "And
you will do well to think twice before you burn your boats for me!"
She slid lower down the slope, and laid one hand on his knee.
"I don't choose to think twice; and I _have_ burnt my boats as it is!
Besides . . . you will be strong to conquer your trouble, now you know
that all my happiness depends upon it." She paused for an appreciable
moment. "We seem to have changed places since that long-ago morning,
Eldred. It is I who want--to begin now--on any terms."
He put out his arm, and drew her very close to him.
"Feckless as ever!" he chided without severity. "You dismissed me on
an impulse; and now you would take me back again with the same
stupendous disregard for results. It is very evident you need some one
to look after you, and teach you common-sense."
"I have told you already _who_ it is that I need. Isn't that enough?"
The thrill in her low tone set all the man in him on fire. The
influence of the hour was strong upon him.
"My God!" he muttered under his breath. "How can mere flesh and blood
hold out against you?"
"Must you hold out against me--even after what I said?"
She nestled nearer, and stray tendrils of hair softly brushed his
cheek. His lips whitened, but he set them close. Her touch, the
perfume of her passion, had their exalting effect on him. Her weakness
challenged his strength.
"Yes; I must," he answered quietly. "For your sake, my dear, and for
my own self-respect. I am fighting this thing, you understand, with
every weapon at my command. And until I see my way clear out on the
other side, I will not--I dare not--take you back. Now come. It is
high time you were asleep. We can't stay out here together all night."
"We have every right to . . . if we choose," she murmured, still
rebellious.
"You forget, I am to teach you common-sense! There is to-morrow to be
thought of, and your long ride back to Dalhousie."
A small shiver ran through her.
"I am afraid of to-morrow. I shall wake up and feel as if all this had
been a dream. When shall I see you again . . . alone?"
"I will come up and call on you the day after!" he said, assuming a
deliberate lightness in sheer self-defence. "Don't let me find Garth
there, though; or I warn you I shall not be accountable for my
behaviour!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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