British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
He turned, as if to carry out his resolve: but at the last, shut down
the flood-gates of emotion, fell back on years of self-discipline, and
told his heart he was a fool. He had yet to learn that there is a
folly worth more than all the wisdom of philosophers, the folly of a
man who loves a woman better than his own soul.
Going over to the table, he turned up the lamp, acknowledged the
ponderous jubilations of Brutus, and took the damaged pipe out of his
pocket. Then he stood looking at it thoughtfully, as it lay in the
palm of his hand; an eloquent testimony to that which had been starved,
denied, trampled upon for years,--with this result! Smiling
half-scornfully at his new-found sentimentalism, he put the pieces into
an empty cigarette tin, and thrust it into the top drawer of his table.
As he did so, a strange thought invaded his mind. Some day, perhaps,
he would show it to her; and how delightfully she would laugh at him
for his pardonable foolishness!
But in the meantime the wooing and winning of her still remained to be
achieved; a unique position for a husband!
Absorbed in thoughts evoked by the bare possibility of success, Lenox
mechanically drew out his empty tobacco-pouch, opened the jar, and
thrust a hand into its capacious depths.
Then he started; and two lines of vexation furrowed his forehead. For
his fingers, descending in search of the good brown leaf, that was more
to him than meat and drink, encountered only a chill hardness,--the
bottom of the jar.
He had not emptied it when filling his pouch that morning; and being
much preoccupied had not even noticed how little was left. Evidently,
during his absence, a hotel servant had helped himself to the remaining
handful, and a clear ten days must elapse before the arrival of a fresh
consignment from home.
He gathered up the remaining scraps, and gazed at them blankly. His
consignments were carefully timed to overlap one another. By rights
the jar should have contained quite a fortnight's supply of his elixir
vitae: and it took him one or two seconds to grasp the full
significance of that which had befallen him.
"Great Heaven! I must have been overdoing it like blazes this last
month," he reflected grimly, "And how about the next ten days?"
He stood aghast before that simple question, and its obvious answer.
It was as if the earth has opened under his feet; as if he had suddenly
discovered that only a thin crust intervened between himself and the
crater of a volcano. And he had travelled hitherward blindly; goaded
by the threefold necessity to work, and sleep, and forget. Thus,
stealthily, inexorably, a habit creeps upon a man; enclosing him mesh
by mesh in a network imponderable as spun silk, tenacious as steel
wire. A sudden movement, a break in the hypnotic influence of routine,
and he wakes to find himself prisoned in a web of his own weaving.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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