All at once, a
dismal silence prevailed; sadness was painted in every countenance,
and no one durst venture to raise his tear-dewed eyes towards Cato.
This tender friend perceived the effect his rigid philosophy had
produced; he changed the subject, and, to drive away melancholy
ideas, he spoke of those who had just left them, showing the anxious
inquietude he experienced respecting them. After the repast, he walked
about for some time, according to his usual custom, and then retired to
his apartment. There he spoke more affectionately than he had before
done, to his son and his friends, which revived and strengthened the
idea they had conceived of his determination. When he went into his
inner chamber, he threw himself upon the bed, and meditated for a long
time upon Plato’s dialogue on the immortality of the soul. He had
already read a considerable part of it, when, turning his eyes upon his
bolster, he perceived that his sword was not in its customary place;
his son had had it removed whilst they were at supper. Cato called to
a slave, and asked him what had become of his sword. The slave made
no answer, and his master resumed his reading. A few minutes after;
he made the same question, without any eagerness or warmth, but like
a man who has no particular desire. At last, when he had finished his
reading, seeing that nobody seemed disposed to obey him, he called all
his slaves, one after the other, and in the tone of a master, said that
he insisted upon having his sword; he even went so far as to give one
of them so violent a blow, that he made his hand bloody. “What!” cried
he, indignantly, “what! are my son and my people conspiring to deliver
me up to my enemy, without arms and without defence?” At this moment,
his son, coming into the apartment with his friends, burst into tears.
He threw himself at his feet, he embraced his knees, and conjured him
to depart from his purpose. Cato, angry at seeing his son in such
an attitude of supplication, and darting at him glances denoting
displeasure,--“Since when,” cried he, “am I fallen into imbecility,
to make it necessary for my son to be my curator? I am treated like
an insane man; I am not allowed to dispose of my own person; I am to
be disarmed too! Brave and generous son, why do you not chain up your
father till Cæsar arrives, so that that enemy of his country may find
him destitute of defence? Do I stand in need of a sword, if I wished to
deprive myself of life? Could I not hold my breath? could I not dash
my head against the wall? If a man really wish for death, there are a
thousand ways of obtaining it.” A young slave then brought him back his
sword. Cato drew it, examined it, and finding that the point was quite
straight and sharp, he exclaimed,--“Now, then, I am my own master.”
He laid down his sword, took up his book, and read it through again
from beginning to end; he then fell into so profound a sleep, that
the anxious friends who listened at the door heard him snore; but the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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