As it was impossible to send the infant round to the workhouse at that late hour of the night, why, I was obliged to take it up-stairs to bed with me, and a precious night both Edward and I had of it, goodness knows! For directly that little brute of an Alfred began to cry, of course he set my little pet of a Kate off, too; consequently, while I was trying to get the one off to sleep with a drop, I was obliged to make Edward set up in bed and rock the other, which he did, all the while grumbling and abusing me in a most shameful manner; wondering how I could ever have been such a born idiot to have allowed myself to have had a strange child put upon me in such a place. Early in the morning, immediately after Edward had left for business, I sent Susan off to the workhouse with the squalling young urchin, instructing her to tell the parish authorities how shamefully I had been imposed upon, and to say that I felt it to be my duty, under the circumstances, to hand it over to them. But, hang it! there seemed to be no chance of getting rid of the brat, for back came Susan, all in a fluster, and said that the porter at the gate had told her, in a very impudent manner, that I must come round myself the next Board day and represent the case to the Guardians; and if the facts would bear investigation, why, perhaps they might make out an order to have it admitted. Here was a pretty state to be in; for Susan said the next Board day wasn’t for five days to come, and it was impossible for me ever to think of keeping the child all that time, and I really felt as if I could have put it in the old fish-basket we had in the house, and tied it to the first knocker that I came to. Indeed, as it was, I did go up-stairs to Mrs. Yapp, and both dear mother and myself tried, for upwards of an hour, as hard as ever we could, to get her to adopt the poor little foundling. But of course it was of no use appealing to the maternal feelings of a hard-hearted creature like her; for we couldn’t get her to take it, although both of us kept pointing out to her what a comfort, we had no doubt, it would grow up to be to her in her old age, and what a noble act she would be doing in rescuing the poor little innocent dear from the workhouse, and, might be, a prison; saying that it was impossible, under the circumstances, to tell what would become of it--but it was all to no use. Although she has got four hundred a-year, and no children, still the mean old thing positively refused to have anything to do with the poor dear little “incumbrance,” but I do verily believe that if the child had only had the good luck to be sickly, she would willingly have consented to have acted the part of a mother to it, if it was only for the sake of having some one to physic.