The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
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The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
Well, on the Monday, off I packed my dresses, with the dirty linen, to
the wash, and gave the woman a whole string of directions as to how I
wanted them done. When the Saturday came, I declare it was such a fine
warm day, that I slipped on the clear muslin that I had kept back, and
went out in the afternoon to pay the last week’s bills; and while I was
in the neighbourhood, I thought I might just as well run round to Mrs.
L--ckl--y’s, and ask that sweet woman to take a walk down Oxford-street
with me and look at the shops; for, to tell the truth, I felt that I
wanted a mouthful of fresh air. So off Mrs. L--ckl--y and I set
together; and though there was not so much as a goat’s hair or a mare’s
tail to be seen in the sky when we started, of course, as usual, we had
no sooner set foot in Regent-street than it began to spit a bit.
However, as we thought it would not last, and we didn’t see the fun of
spoiling our bonnets, why we both of us agreed that it would be best to
step into Hodge and Lowman’s, and just look at a few things that we
didn’t want, until it had given over. But, oh dear, no! nothing of the
kind; for though we must have stopped there, I should say, a good
half-hour, pulling the things over, and having first this dress out of
the window, and then that, until we put the poor man to such trouble,
that Mrs. L--ckl--y whispered to me that she really thought that she
must buy a yard or two of sarsnet ribbon, just for the look of the
thing; it really seemed as if the fates had conspired against my clear
muslin, for, upon my word, it only kept getting worse and worse, and
came down at last in such straight lines, that it really looked as if it
was raining iron wires. So, as it was getting close to dinner time, and
I thought Edward would be coming home and fidgetting again about the
place for want of his dinner, I told Mrs. L--ckl--y, that, since a cab
up to her house, in Albany-street, would come to the same money as the
bus, why it would be much better to take one, instead of having a parcel
of wet umbrellas stuck right against one’s knees, and the dirty boots of
those filthy men wiped right on the flounces of one’s dress--especially,
too, as I knew Mrs. L--ckl--y had too much of the lady in her ever to be
mean enough to accept of my trumpery sixpence towards such a trifle as
the shilling fare. Accordingly, we jumped into the first cab we could
catch, and on the road I made up my mind pretty quickly not to go taking
the thing on to P--rk V--ll--ge, for I saw, as plain as the nose on my
face, that I should have the whole fare to pay if I did, for, of course
it would look just as bad for me to accept of her beggarly sixpence as
it would for her ever to think of taking mine. When the cab stopped at
Mrs. L--ckl--y’s, I told her I would step in and arrange my hair just
for a minute, and of course, I couldn’t do less than _offer_ to pay the
fare, never for an instant fancying that she would be stingy enough to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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