The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
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The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
Well, as I was saying, off I trotted to dear mother’s, but as my luck
would have it, she couldn’t lay her hands on the receipt I wanted,
anywhere. However, as Mrs. Lockley had given it to her, the good old
soul had no doubt she would do as much for me. So I thought to myself,
the best thing I can do is to go on and see that sweet woman. Mother,
with her usual kindness, wanted me to stay dinner; but I begged of her
not to ask me to stop that day, as I had got a beautiful hot fillet of
veal for dinner, (which I am very partial to,) but if she liked I would
come on the morrow when it was cold, (which I do not like at all).
Whereupon mother said as it was her washing day, I must take pot luck if
I came; but knowing what _that_ stood for at home, I suddenly remembered
a pressing engagement I had, which, I regretted, would deprive me of the
pleasure.
I thought I should never have got to that sweet woman, Mrs. Lockley’s;
for really the weather did seem to me so oppressive, that, upon my word,
I felt ready to drop; and if it hadn’t been for the look of the thing, I
do believe I should have sat down to rest myself on one of the
door-steps. I was so hungry, too, with my long walk, that I certainly
should have gone into some pastry-cook’s on my way, and destroyed my
stomach with a lot of trash out of the housekeeping, if I hadn’t known
that it was close upon that sweet woman Mrs. Lockley’s hour for
luncheon.
When I got to Mrs. Lockley’s, of course, with my usual luck, she had
only got one or two filthy baked apples and a little cold bullock’s
heart (which, though I’d go miles for when smoking hot with veal
stuffing, plenty of currant jelly, and a plate as warm as warm can be,
yet I can’t even bear to look at it when it’s cold). So, as I didn’t
relish this fare very much, I told Mrs. Lockley, when she apologised for
the lunch, and asked me if I’d do as she did, that nothing on earth
would give me greater pleasure, as, strange to say, they were two of my
most favourite dishes; but, I added, I’m frightened to touch either, my
love--for, to tell the truth, I’ve a nasty cold upon me; and, as I know
I can be frank with you, my dear, if you should happen to have such a
thing as an oyster or two handy, I think it would do me good. When,
actually, the sweet woman, like a stupid, _would_ send out for some
expressly for me, though I begged and prayed of the kind soul not to put
herself to all that trouble on my account--taking good care, however,
not to overdo it this time; for I thought it was the least she could do
for me after leaving me to pay the whole of that cab, in the disgraceful
way she had. As Lockley was out of town, and as I remembered she hadn’t
seen our footman, and, besides, as I had got a love of a fillet of veal,
why, I thought I couldn’t do less after all her kindness than ask that
sweet woman, Mrs. Lockley, to come and take a plain family dinner with
us that day; which she said she would. Presently, off we started, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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