upper housemaid and the under housemaid--the cook and the scullery maid--and the footman and the page into the bargain--positively, I had our poking villa so full of servants, that we were as short of beds as a country town during the assizes: and, as our lease had still fifteen years to run, and since, owing to that bothering, rattling railway at the back of us, we couldn’t get anybody to take it off our hands, and as--plague take those maids--I could _not_ get them to sleep three in a tester anyhow, why, drat it, there we had to go putting another and another story to our residence, till I declare our villa looked like an old Jew with three hats on. However, if I must tell the truth, I didn’t object to this so much after all; for I felt that the great, big, grand house, we had now got over our heads, and the large retinue of servants we had at our backs, did give us such a position in this empty world, and such a footing in hollow-hearted society, that--notwithstanding Mr. Edward was always telling me, I and my servants were driving him into the Queen’s Bench as fast as he could gallop, or even a National Theatre could take him--still for the sake of my four poor dear children, and those yet to come, I determined not to give way--even so much as a scullery maid--no! not if I had to be afflicted with a violent neuralgia again--or even St. Vitus’s dance in the height of summer, for it. But I was far from being as happy in the midst of all this grandeur as I had, like a stupid girl as I am, foolishly expected; for no sooner had I got eight servants dangling at my heels, than, lud-a-mussy-me! if I could get as much attention or as much peace and quiet as when I had only one--a mere servant of all work--to wait upon me. If I wanted anything done, positively, it didn’t seem to be anybody’s place to do it. For instance, let me tell the footman to sweep up a few crumbs from under the table, of course it wasn’t _his_ place--but he’d send the housemaid; then let me tell the housemaid to bring up some more coals, of course it wasn’t _her_ place--but she’d send the footman. If I told the upper nurserymaid to make me a little warm water-gruel, for my little angel’s bottle (love its sweet eyes!) oh dear me, no! even this was too much, it wasn’t _her_ place--but she’d tell the under one. If I went down stairs, too, to see about dinner, and just asked the cook to wash a trumpery basin for me--bless you! she couldn’t think of soiling her delicate hands with a dish-clout; no! it wasn’t _her_ place--but she’d tell the scullery-maid. Augh! the lazy, good-for-nothing pack of leeches! And what did they think _was_ their place, then, I should like to know? I can tell them what _I_ think their place was! and that’s--a very snug berth, with little or nothing to do, but to try their hardest to eat me out of house and home--and _that’s_ what it was. CHAPTER XVI. AND THE LAST, (_thank goodness! say I_.)