The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
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The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
“Thrue, masther,” answered Norah; “but, faith, an’ didn’t she say that
ould Ireland, the first jim of the sa, was a pigsty, and I thought of
nothing else at all at all.”
“Well, now, listen to me, Norah,” he said. “Perhaps I should astonish
you if I were to tell you that you could be transported for what you did
to your mistress yesterday.”
“Thransported, did ye say,” she replied. “An’ sure an’ the misthress had
no rights to be afther blaggearding my counthry as she did.”
“No, Norah,” he replied; “that was very inconsiderate of _her_; but it
was both wicked and mad of _you_ to think that you could add to your
country’s honour by shedding the blood of one whom you were bound to
respect.”
“Thrue, again, Masther,” she answered, with consummate impudence. “But,
by my sowl, we are a warrm-hearted people, so we are; an’ when the
blood’s up, Pat hasn’t time to be thinkin’ of thrifles.”
“Exactly so; and it is for that reason, Norah,” continued my husband,
“that persons like ourselves are frightened to live in the same house
with you.”
“Frighthined was it ye were saying,” she replied; “sure an’ if you’re
good to us, don’t we take it to heart as warrmly as when ye trate us
badly. But, by St. Pathrick, it’s the bad we forgit, and the good we
remimber. Faith, an’ the masther hisself will say that!”
“I cannot deny it,” returned Edward; “and, indeed, it is solely on that
account, Norah, that I speak to you in the temperate manner I am at
present doing; for I know that it is the character of your nation to be
touched by a kind word, while you are only enraged by a harsh one.”
“Faith, an’ that’s what we are,” cried the woman, who really looked as
if she was going out of her wits on the spot. “An’ blessings on the
masther who said that same. An’ by the powers, it isn’t Norah that’ll be
the dirty blaggeard ever to lave him as long as she lives.”
“Yes, but, Norah,” returned my husband, with certainly more reason than
I ever gave him credit for, “after your conduct to your mistress, I
should be forgetting my duty to her, were I to consent to your remaining
with me.”
“Och, murther!” she exclaimed, as cool as ever. “You niver mane to say
that you’ll be afther driving Norah from your door?”
“Yes, Norah,” he answered, with a firmness that astonished me; “this day
month, if you please! You can go down to your work again now.”
“Ah, niver say it--niver say it, honey,” she cried, with the tears
starting in her eyes--“ah, niver say it. Only let Norah stop wid ye, and
by St. Pathrick there’s nothing she’ll be thinking too good for ye.
Sure, and wont she work night and day for ye both. Oh! spake a word to
him, misthress, and say ye wont be after puttin’ my blood up agin, and
I’ll be as kind and good to the pair of ye as if ye were my own dear
childer.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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