Europe -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories
He waved a white thing covered with scrawled pencil-marks, and beside it
I somehow saw that letter from a draughty house on a hill of strangled
olives. But between the two came the vision of Venice destroyed.
“I don’t want to read it, Napier. I quite understand. What on earth
does it matter whether you knew or not, so long as you know now?”
“Thinks a lot of you,” he said darkly. “Told me, last time I saw
her....”
He passed a hand over his mouth. I said: “But....”
“Beastly,” he said, looking at me with enormous, dark surprise. “That’s
what I feel. Beastly. As though my skin was a dirty shirt. Ever get
that? I mean, here she’s dying, and I ... God, how one gets to know
oneself! What? But I’d like you to see. I mean, since it’s you. She
thinks a lot of you, I know she does. Thinks you’re nice. Funny how she
says that, ‘nice.’ What? But what’s she want to lie for? Iris never
lies. Never. That’s what beats me. I mean, why, to me? What? Go on,
you’ll see....”
Crumpled the letter was, but he had, in a sort of way, smoothed it out.
I stared at it. I had to, for he was watching me with those ruined,
pleading eyes. The greyhound unleashed....
“She’s dying.” I heard his voice from miles away. “You can’t tell me!
She’s dying....”
“She won’t die,” I said firmly, glad to look up from the letter. And,
you know, I was quite certain at that moment that she wouldn’t die. The
beloved of the favourite of the gods wouldn’t die. The favourites of the
gods are not let off so easily. Oh, she wouldn’t die! It would be too
easy to die. “The Marches are never let off anything....”
I stared at the crumpled-looking thing in my hand. I didn’t read it. The
poor devil was only showing me the thing because, at that lost moment,
he was starving for understanding, for any one’s understanding, after
these ten months of silence, of Venice-Napier-Iris silence....
I couldn’t, merely from the wretched fact of staring at the thing
blankly, avoid the first few lines of that schoolgirl scrawl. “Napier, I
have to go to a nursing-home for a few weeks’ rest. Napier, dear Napier!
I’ve tried not to write, you know I have, just as we promised, but as we
are never to meet again I’d like you to pray----”
That is all I read, and there I stood, staring at that crumpled letter
like an idiot. “As we are never to meet again....”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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