Europe -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories
He has said farewell to his love, I said to myself, and now, if love has
left any honour at all in him, he must convince himself that there never
was any love to say adieu to, for even so much would be a disloyalty to
Venice. He has renounced his love, I thought to myself, as a man of
honour should do, but he knows that a man of honour is not worthy the
name unless he can also convince himself that there never was any love
to renounce, for that would make him feel martyred for his wife’s sake,
and that would be a treachery to Venice....
And, smoking one more cigarette in the calm security of the darkening,
deserted lounge, while a waiter or two began laying the small tables
roundabout for tea, I seemed to understand Napier as he were myself, and
he the most different man from me that could well be found. Looking at
the thing full and square, you might say that Napier had done a caddish
thing; in fact, that was what you had to say, looking at the thing full
and square; but it is a mistake to look at everything full and square,
and it is too easy to dismiss people’s actions as “caddish” and the
like, for such are no more than words coined to save people from
wearying their minds with undue thinking, and tiresome people will go on
and on using them with a great show of conviction in the very same way
that they will put down a book by Mr. Shaw or Maître Anatole France and
say: “Look at Dickens!”
Now Napier had suddenly come upon a queer sort of peace following on a
second’s cruel decision not to go and see Iris again, a very cruel
decision, I thought, and she no doubt expecting every moment to see his
face in the clouds all about her. “How like a man,” I could hear a
feminine voice, “first to stain what he thinks his ‘honour’ by taking a
mistress, and then to retrieve his idiotic ‘honour’ by hurting his
mistress!” But, maybe, how could one tell? maybe Napier had suddenly
realised, in the very moment that Venice spoke, that if he went to sit
with Iris even once more he might fall right down into the pit of dark
enchantment and he might send all life but that which he found in Iris
to the deuce and nevermore return to Venice, to whom he was held by
every one of those principles that are born in the blood of a Napier, a
Hilary, a Guy de Travest. And I wondered what I would have done had my
life been so weighted and tangled with people’s emotions as Napier’s
must always have been, and what, I wondered, would I have done had I, in
Napier’s place, been as unaware of myself until a fiercely revealing
moment three nights before my marriage to my betrothed? The answer to
that was very easy, and it was by the measure of the ease with which it
came that I could judge of Napier’s struggle with himself to keep his
pledge to Venice, for never were two men so different as Napier and me.
I, I would have broken my troth, that is what I would have done, and I
would have broken away from any other thing that stood in the way of my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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