Europe -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories
I gave him back the slip of paper. I don’t know why, and now I wish I
hadn’t. I would like to have it now, beside that fiver. “Nice, fivers
are....” Thoughtful Iris! She knew her friends, she did. Lying lonely
here ... and having an afterthought about Hilary--and me! “If they
should somehow happen to hear and call.” Poor Guy hadn’t a mention. She
wasn’t for putting any strain on Guy’s lawfulness. But why lawfulness? I
looked at Conrad Masters.
“Septic poisoning,” said Masters. “That’s the trouble.”
That meant very little to me, for never was a man so ill-informed about
such things. “But,” I said doubtfully to those gentle-worried eyes, and
he murmured:
“Sure you’re not thinking of ptomaine poisoning? Not that that isn’t
quite enough to be going on with....”
“Pain,” I said. “Good Lord, pain....” All I could think of was pain,
pain, pain. One can almost feel the stabs of some one’s pain. Worst of
all, one can mentally hear the faint screams of a voice just
recognisable. Conrad Masters, the sight of him, reminded me vividly of
Anna Estella’s pain. Once, from a waiting-room, I had heard her
screaming. “Pain?” I said.
“Oh, no ... no.” He weighed the matter. “Nothing to speak of. Just keep
still, that’s the main thing. Very still, for weeks and weeks. Long
business, you know. But what worries a man is that she doesn’t try to
help herself at all. Letting herself go ... can’t tell whether
consciously or not, but somewhere inside her just not caring. I’ve been
sharp with her.... Nice business for me, isn’t it? Good Lord, nice! If
only she’d take a pull, pull herself together ... some one just give her
mind a jab somehow. No good talking, of course. If she won’t, she won’t.
Lies there, you know, just not caring....” He was drawing on a fur-lined
glove, and it was to that he spoke; almost, one thought, shyly. A
curious, complex gentleman. “She’s said once or twice she’d like to see
you and ... well, learn you a thing or two. Some stuff about roses and
dandelions. You seem to have made a _gaffe_ somewhere, and it’s quite on
her mind to tell you about it. Hope I’m not giving anything away ... but
might do her good just to see you, feel you’re round about. You can’t
tell. We’ll see how she is to-morrow. Extraordinary, I’ve found it, the
way a woman will wake up for a second from days of delirium for no other
purpose than to feel lonely.... Not awake now, though. Ill, this
evening. Can’t really, you see, be iller if she tried. It will be good
news, really good news, if she is alive in the morning. That’s as much
as I can say. Sorry.... Well, I must snatch some dinner....”
We were outside. The rain had ceased, it was much warmer. The Masters’s
Renault, sleek and shining black but for the scarlet wheels, dwarfed my
taxi.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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